Guy: I really hate it when people mop my feet. I am Jamaican, after all. –Bryant Park Overheard by: Stephie Russell
Archive for the ‘Lower Manhattan’ Category
Fun with the Gentler Sex
Chick: …and the next thing I knew, I kicked her ass three times. –Lolita Bar
Full Metal Tuxedo Jacket
Arab man: Did you dance at your wedding?
Marine: I prefer not to think back at that point in my life.
–Casa Bella, Mulberry St.
…If Not, Can I?
Guy: Has anyone ever accidentally dated you and your sister at the same time? –Diner, 22nd and 9th Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Ah, The Dangers of Voting
Guy: Yeah, man, that’s true. But you have to keep in mind that while you’re emotionally emasculated, he’s physically emasculated, and there’s a helluva difference. –Knitting Factory Overheard by: Patrick Taylor
I Was Wondering the Same Thing
Guy #1: What’s with the queerfest?
Guy #2: It’s tomorrow night.
–Ave A & 3rd St.
Just a Little Bit Of Wednesday One-Liner Repeating
Mother to child in front of diorama of pilgrims and Native Americans: Well, that's because the Indians never met real people before.
–Museum of Natural History
Overheard by: Peter R.
Young girl, arriving through train tunnel at Grand Central Station: I wonder if Harriet Tubman is down here.
–Grand Central Station
Airhead: I think like… Colonialization is like… The umbrella theme of, like… Diplomacy.
–Pommes Frites
History teacher, about Andrew Jackson: He tight, he kill mad people, he buggin'.
–High School
Teacher, discussing Thomas Jefferson's mistress: You see, guys? History is exciting! It's full of sex!
–High School, Lower Manhattan
Overheard by: SzN31
Wednesday One-Liners Aren't That Kind Of Streetwalker
Police officer to taxi driver: If you just hit one, the rest will scatter.
–Herald Square
Guy to girl, pushing her into the street: Anna versus car, who will win?
–E Houston & Ave D
Overheard by: haha
Tourist to New Yorker: You're not supposed to jaywalk!
–Herald Square
Chick to another: We didn't get hit by a car… Oh well, maybe next time.
–7th & 23rd
Overheard by: Stormy
Guy with stroller to passing car: You hit my baby, I'll take your car!
–Fordham & Hoffman
Overheard by: sromeo
Crossing guard, watching pedestrian cross in a hurry: My money's on the bus!
–Lower Manhattan
Overheard by: Steve
…We'll Call Person B “Jamal”
Teacher, pointing to three figures on board: Now, greeny is on his computer sending an e-mail to reddy, who is on the phone with blacky.
Student: Blacky?
Teacher: Oh, dear. Person A is on the phone with person B…
–Millennium High School, Lower Manhattan
Overheard by: Adriana
Wednesday One-Liners Use the Safety Net
Teen girl on cell: What?! His name was "food stamps?"
–Outside W 4th St Train Station
Woman waiting in line for a free iced coffee at Dunkin' Donuts: Daaaayum… It's crowded in here, like at the welfare office!
–Lower Manhattan
Overheard by: Matt
Thug (seeing the line for Dark Knight: Yo, this is longer than the welfare line!
–42nd St AMC Theaters
Overheard by: Angel
Drunk hobo in seriously bright yellow jump suit: Will you marry me? I got food stamps.
–Broadway, Astoria
Guy on cell: What? Yeahhh, her momma's been on welfare so long her food stamps bounced.
–3rd Ave & 11th St
Overheard by: nycpuhlease
20-year-old girl on cell: Yeah, I got the dress, it was like $100. I tried on matching pumas and I'm gonna go back to get those tomorrow. Hold on, I have another call.
(pause) Hello? Let me call you back, I'm on my way to pick up my welfare check.
–M2 Bus