Guy: I really hate it when people mop my feet. I am Jamaican, after all. –Bryant Park Overheard by: Stephie Russell
Chick: …and the next thing I knew, I kicked her ass three times. –Lolita Bar
Guy: Has anyone ever accidentally dated you and your sister at the same time? –Diner, 22nd and 9th Overheard by: Greg Rutter
Guy: Yeah, man, that’s true. But you have to keep in mind that while you’re emotionally emasculated, he’s physically emasculated, and there’s a helluva difference. –Knitting Factory Overheard by: Patrick Taylor
Arab man: Did you dance at your wedding?
Marine: I prefer not to think back at that point in my life. –Casa Bella, Mulberry St.
Police officer to taxi driver: If you just hit one, the rest will scatter.
Guy to girl, pushing her into the street: Anna versus car, who will win?
–E Houston & Ave D
Overheard by: haha
Tourist to New Yorker: You're not supposed to jaywalk!
Chick to another: We didn't get hit by a car… Oh well, maybe next time.
–7th & 23rd
Overheard by: Stormy
Guy with stroller to passing car: You hit my baby, I'll take your car!
–Fordham & Hoffman
Overheard by: sromeo
Crossing guard, watching pedestrian cross in a hurry: My money's on the bus!
Overheard by: Steve
Teacher, pointing to three figures on board: Now, greeny is on his computer sending an e-mail to reddy, who is on the phone with blacky.
Teacher: Oh, dear. Person A is on the phone with person B…
–Millennium High School, Lower Manhattan
Overheard by: Adriana
Teen girl on cell: What?! His name was "food stamps?"
–Outside W 4th St Train Station
Woman waiting in line for a free iced coffee at Dunkin' Donuts: Daaaayum… It's crowded in here, like at the welfare office!
Overheard by: Matt
Thug (seeing the line for Dark Knight: Yo, this is longer than the welfare line!
–42nd St AMC Theaters
Overheard by: Angel
Drunk hobo in seriously bright yellow jump suit: Will you marry me? I got food stamps.
Guy on cell: What? Yeahhh, her momma's been on welfare so long her food stamps bounced.
–3rd Ave & 11th St
Overheard by: nycpuhlease
20-year-old girl on cell: Yeah, I got the dress, it was like $100. I tried on matching pumas and I'm gonna go back to get those tomorrow. Hold on, I have another call.
(pause) Hello? Let me call you back, I'm on my way to pick up my welfare check.
Girl playing extreme edition of Would You Rather:Okay: would you rather Joe with a 75% chance of a non-treatable STD or Luke with a 12% chance of pregnancy?
Asian girl during Rent intermission: Oh wait, so they all have AIDS? Is that why they're all taking pills all the time? I didn't understand that. But you can't die from AIDS, right? I mean, if you like lived in a bubble forever, you would never die from it, right?
Man, emphatically: Look, you don't even have to worry about HIV, just take 200 milligrams of Vitamin C.
–89th & Broadway
Hipster girl: Me and my STDs are like Angelina Jolie's kids… Gotta get one from every country!
Overheard by: Kate
Hipster to friend: Thank god AIDS wasn't in Africa yet when I was there, I wouldn't have fucked anybody.
Young woman on cell: Yeah, I know. (pause) So you don't mind if I have herpes, right?
–71st Rd & Queens Blvd, Forest Hills, Queens
Overheard by: Tara
Traffic police officer #1: She want balls with no cheese. I want cheese on my balls.
Traffic police officer #2: Oh, she nasty.
–Quizno's, Broadway & Franklin
Overheard by: office peon