Archive for the ‘Lower Manhattan’ Category

Maybe I’ll Smoke This One with My Ass

Girl: Oh my God, that’s what a smoker’s lung looks like?
Guy #1: Whoa… Yeah, I guess it is. Look, that’s what a cancerous lung looks like.
Girl: That is disgusting.
Guy #1: Really is.
Guy #2: Putrid. Absolutely grotesque.
Guy #1: Really makes you think twice about smoking. I really need a cigarette.

–Bodies Exhibition, South Street Seaport

Think They Have Italian Food?

Girl #1: Do you think there are more places to eat this way or that way?
Cop: Well, there are four that way, and two this way, but the better places are this way.
Girl #2: Can you recommend a good place to eat then?
Cop: Uh, there’s supposed to be somewhere good on the corner of Spring and Mulberry.
Girl #1: Do you know the name of the place?
Cop: Maybe Lugi’s or Lombardi’s or something, some woppy Italian name.

–Little Italy

Overheard by: San Gennaro Reveler

It Couldn’t Hurt Worse than Hearing you use the Phrase ‘Treasure Trail’

Blonde: You know what I did this morning?
Brunette: What?
Blonde: I plucked out my treasure trail with tweezers. Pain isn’t even the word.
Brunette: What the fuck? Why?
Blonde: It was too short to wax and I was impatient…
Brunette: Ummm…why didn’t you just shave it then?
Blonde: Oh hell no! It’d grow back like the next day! Shit, I’d pluck out my whole crotch if I knew I wouldn’t pass out from the pain!

–St. Mark’s Place

Overheard by: Mistress Silver

If Wednesday One-Liners Can Make It Here, They Can Make It Anywhere

Chick: Nothing says New York like a wire frog. –Battery Park Lady who has loudly complained to the waiter about the poor service: It’s people like that who give New York City a bad name. –Lindy’s, 7th Ave Overheard by: joemikehap Amateur anthropologist: Of course I have a snarky attitude! I’m a New Yorker; it’s practically a requirement! –F train Overheard by: Braincurve Tourist on cell: Yeah! I’m in New York! Yeah, it’s kinda like New Orleans, except bigger and you can’t drink in the streets. –Grand Central Man on bicycle: New York is about freedom! Suck a dick! –Astor Place Overheard by: Laura Guy watching Texas Chainsaw Massacre trailer: See, that’s why I never leave New York. You never see crazy motherfuckers like that in New York…except for niggas on the train. –Regal Cinemas, Court St, Brooklyn Overheard by: Clitoris Rex Little girl: There’s a lot of people in this New York City! –Times Square