Archive for the ‘Madison Square Garden’ Category

People for the Ethical Treatment Of Wednesday One-Liners

Girl to guy: I don't think that hamsters respond to you as much as, like, a guinea pig does. –Bank St. & Greenwich St. Overheard by: Katie Compa Crazy redneck-looking guy to PETA circus protester: They're gonna do to us what they did to the lions! We'll be put in concentration camps! –Madison Square Garden Overheard by: Santiago and Catie Guy: And she can ride him like a horse! –W 103rd St Graying Brooklyn guy to another: You know, the only thing I haven't seen is a bobcat. –7th Ave & 4th St, Brooklyn Underclassman to another: Lizards can't impregnate anyone. They don't even have penises. –Townsend Harris High School Overheard by: amused Drunk man in tiger costume to McDonald's worker: There's an escaped zoo animal and he wants to eat your pussy. Stop serving your food and hide! (then steals bowl of jams used for breakfast menu) –McDonald's

It Isn’t Easy Being Us

Chick #1: I just look for things in my cabinet to overdose on. Seriously, I need to go on strong medication. I have no boyfriend, no life… I need some medicine. I need it right now. Oh my god, I’m about to cry right here. And see, I’m getting so fat. I mean, I still wear the same size and weigh the same, but I’m getting so fat. I know it’s because I’m eating breakfast again. I usually do no breakfast, then yogurt for lunch and fish or something for dinner. I know it’s because of breakfast.
Chick #2: Well, I seriously can’t go home without drinking. It’s not like I’m a huge drinker or anything, but I just can’t stay away from wine once I step in the door. –Madison Square Park Overheard by: Cathy Pyenson

Lifestyles of the Wednesday One-Liners and Famous

Rich girl to friend: I couldn’t decide between the Marc Jacobs sweater and the Dior jacket. It was like Sophie’s Choice. –Outside NYU dorm Rich lady on phone: Uh-huh, uh-huh, but what if we just put the tennis court where the house was? … Okay, okay, what if we demolish the existing tennis court and make that area the guest house again? Or create a glassed-in structure over the court instead? –Madison Square Garden Overheard by: mkp-hearts-nyc Man lunching with friend: I mean, I never lost a million dollars before. –55th & 6th Ave Overheard by: ilegal browser Dad to child in stroller, passing the park: What? You wanted to go in there? I thought you said you wanted to go to Marc Jacobs. –Hudston St Overheard by: Colleen 20-ish girl: Fuck my dad. How selfish can you be? If I want to live on West 11th, then fucking buy the flat on West 11th. Ugh. Sorry. Can I get another dirty martini? –The Village WASP lady: She’s not even nouveau riche — she is just nouveau! –A Voce, 26th & Madison

Whatever, Mr. Gender-Identity Gestapo

Madison Square Garden worker: Sir… Sir! Sir, where the hell do you think you're going?
Man, with five-year-old kid: I'm gettin' in the line for the bathroom.
Madison Square Garden worker: Sir, it looks to me like you're trying to get into the ladies bathroom.
Man: But I got a kid!
Madison Square Garden worker: Did you give birth to your kid?
Man: No!
Madison Square Garden worker: Then it looks to me like you're in the wrong fuckin line. –Madison Square Garden