Man …you better get in, nobody over 30 is allowed to walk here anymore. –Williamsburg Overheard by: Sam Cohen Old man: It’s like crap without a toilet! Goddamn rock and roll generation! Get the fuck out of here before I shoot every last one of you! –Williamsburg Overheard by: nj Hipster guy: I had so many magical adventures here last summer, it’s not even funny. –Williamsburg Girl: Yeah, and I mean a lot of rumors about me are true, but that one isn’t. –Union pool, Williamsburg
Student #1: Mister, what are some jobs I could look into if I got a Math major?
Teacher: Oh, there’s lots of options! You could be an engineer… an accountant…
Student #2: … A wizard…
–Stuyvesant High School
Hobo #1: Who open the doors and let you out?
Hobo #2: I escaped, muthafucker! –West 4th Street Overheard by: Joshua Mueller
Young lady suit #1, about old lady suit screaming insanely on phone: You hear her? Yeah, she's… She's on the wrong track, I think. She might actually be getting on the crazy train soon.
Young lady suit #2: Yeah, the crazy train.
Young lady suit #1: She's going to take the crazy train all the way to crazy town. I bet it's a magic town.
Young lady suit #2: Sure, it's magic.
Young lady suit #1: A magic town. You'd need a special train to get there. It must be the Hogwarts express.
Young lady suit #2: I think I'll take your calls today.
Young lady suit #1: I'll see you on the platform.
–27th St & Park Ave
Girl: Dude, why are you holding a stick?
Guy: It's a wand. Fuck you.
Black man to Australian girls in wizard hats: I know magic.
Australian girls: You do not. Tell us a spell then, and not abracadabra. That doesn't count.
Black man: I'll give you a spell. Alakazaam.
Australian girls: Sorry, that's not real. You're too muggle for us, go away.
–33rd St & 2nd Ave
Hungover girl #1: I remember you saying you were going to vomit.
Hungover girl #2: Yeah, I said “I'm gonna vomit.” and you said “me too. I just made out with Tony.” And I said “no, I'm actually going to vomit.”
Hungover guy: And then we threw up at the same time. It was like magic.
Overheard by: Have a good night?
Hipstress to another: At least now if you find a baby on your doorstep, you'll have a dresser drawer to put it in.
–Pete's Candy Store, Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mat Freimuth
Gamer on headset, freaking out: Oh my god, why would you move the couch!? Why the hell did you move it, idiot!? When you move a couch, bad things happen! Move the couch… You stupid… Oh my god. Wanna know why we all died after moving the couch? Because we moved the damn couch!
Middle-aged woman backing away from pink, cushioned chair for sale: Only $199? I wonder what it would be like to fuck on that chair!
Angry wife: No, it's fine, at least I finally know how you truly feel about throw pillows.
–65th St & Broadway
Older gay guy on cell: In the 60s, you didn't need to have passion or talent to be an artist; you just needed to have a van, because no one else was going to haul your shitty art around.
–7th Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: Miss C
Girl reading sign at Frank Lloyd Wright museum: Oh… He was an architect!
Overheard by: Antartic
Mom to little girl: If you look at too much art in one day, you'll turn into a statue.
Guy on phone: Yeah, she said she didn't think I would want to go, but why the fuck not? I'll go to a fucking museum if I fucking want to. I'll look at some paintings and shit.
Overheard by: Mark McLaughlin
12-year-old boy, looking at Picasso paintings: This is totally my thing, man, it's like free porn.
Old queer on cell: Okay, well I'll be watching the Mets game, or the Jets game, whatever you call it… What do they call it when you men all sit together and can't talk?
–Broadway & 103rd St
Iranian tourist to street performer: We don't have a vote but we have a basketball team!
Overheard by: RAR!
Subway conductor: This is the uptown "d" express train, making all express stops in Manhattan and The Bronx, including 161st Street, so the Yankees can host the Minnesota Twins. We'd like to welcome all Detroit Tigers fans riding with us–shame you couldn't bring your team.
–Uptown D Train
Female sports fan: A-Rod's back baby! Kate Hudson has a magic pussy!
–Pub, 45th & 3rd
Overheard by: Pub crawler
Teenage girl to group of attentive friends: If leprechauns could play basketball, they would.
–High School, Queens
Overheard by: Sunny