Father: Okay, girls, get your hairspray and turquoise eyeliner.
Daughter: Why?
Father: We're going to Staten Island!
–Hudson & Christopher
Overheard by: Seonachan
Archive for the ‘Makeup’ Category
You Think High School Ends When You Leave High School?
20-something woman #1: She's an adult, and she still doesn't know how to blow dry her own hair!
20-something woman #2: I know! And she looks like shit when she comes into work.
20-something woman #1: It's absolutely disgusting!
20-something woman #2: Everyone is all wearing makeup and she's just not!
20-something woman #1: I know it's not in your job contract to blow dry your hair, but come on!
–1 Train
Barnard Girls Are Famously Dubai and Large
College woman: Did I tell you? I got my lip gloss today!
Friend: Oooooh, from where?
College woman: Dubai.
–Barnard College
Overheard by: graduating soon….
…For Different Reasons Than Usual.
Ditzy girl #1: You'll never believe it! I woke up this morning and my fingernails were painted!
Ditzy girl #2: You don't remember painting them in the night?
Ditzy girl #1: Not at all! But I did a really good job.
Ditzy girl #2: Yeah, they look great. Maybe I'll come to your room tonight while you're sleeping.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: amalthya
Control-Alt-Wednesday One-Liners
Lady with no teeth to bathroom attendant: I love your sparkly eyeshadow! The doctor who did my second abortion had the same eyeshadow!
–Public Restroom, Bryant Park
Overheard by: Slydell
Girl on cell: I would rather have diabetes than get an abortion.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Kári Emil
Asian hipster girl: Abortion, abortion, abortion, Aids!
–NYU Dorm
Overheard by: i'll take the next elevator
Teen on cell: I've never been a fan of abortion, but if we could just make this little mistake go away.
–Penn Station
Hipster girl to friends: I mean, I think it should be a choice. Like, I'm not pro-abortion. Actually, I am pro-abortion. I think we should all have been aborted. Our parents made the wrong choice.
–2 Train
Guy on cell: I've pooped in the bushes and an abortion clinic, but never on the floor.
–The Gate, Park Slope
Overheard by: Nathan
And My Mom Already Hates You
Hipster turned emo #1: So, I was thinking that I should just dye my hair black, wear a lot of dark eyeliner, and talk about how much my mom hates me.
Hipster turned emo #2: I think that's a great idea, but you also need to stop representing yourself as a happy individual, and make sure that the black eyeliner has that smudgy look.
Goth fat kid with way too many piercings: Shut the fuck up already. You're wasting my oxygen.
–Union Square
If It's Not Popping/ I'm Not Stopping
Angry ghetto chick #1: Bitch, after what you did to me, I ain't gonna wear no lip gloss to yo wedding!
Angry ghetto chick #2: Oh, bitch, you can try, but I will put the lip gloss on you!
–Columbus & 65th
Overheard by: Liat
Let a Smile Be Your Wednesday One-Liner
Guy on cell: How can you be happy if you're acting like such a bitch all time?
–Melrose Ave & 154th St
Puerto Rican barista, as A-Team music starts playing: The A-Team! Man, that makes me think of when I was young and still happy!
–Grand Central
Overheard by: Chris K.
30-something woman: I'm going to see Transformers. Transformers! Daa naa na naaa! You have to be happy in life, everybody is dying.
–34th St & Madison Ave
Overheard by: Frank Molla
Girl on cell, vehemently: I'm trying brown eyeliner. I hope this makes you happy!
–Union Square
Overheard by: Ashley
20-something girl: Just put some alcohol in me and I'll be happy.
–St. Mark's Place
Vanity, Thy Name Is Wednesday One-Liners
Girl to guy: And I was like, "He bleaches his asshole, what does he know about anatomy?"
–Pratt Institute, Brooklyn
Seven-year-old girl to boy throwing mud at her: Watch it, Jakob! I wore eyeliner today!
–Fort Greene Park, Brooklyn
Very large woman on cell: It's called "Brazilian wax job." You only have to do it like every two weeks. Yep, it itches for a day or two, but it's worth every penny.
–PATH
Overheard by: Corey
Young lady with long curly hair to girlfriend: So, I started drying my hair with paper towels recently.
–Montague St, Brooklyn
Overheard by: E-Man>Master of the UNIVERSE!
Outraged feminine gay guy to another: He's having his lips redone… again!
–8th Ave & 20th St, Chelsea
Overheard by: Evan
Woman on cell: Girl, I don't understand why you gotta put on all that makeup just to go for a colonic!
–Washington Heights
Please Don't Feed the Wednesday One-Liners
Elderly woman to Bulldog: If you were human, you would be a male model.
–44th & 3rd
Female on phone, trying to be discrete: I could take a million pictures without makeup and I could make it on the cover of Vogue. I am telling you I just want a model agent to come up to me and say "you are gorgeous, I want you to model." I know I have what it takes!
–Outside Bobst Library
Overheard by: V Liebs
Scrawny short dude: You know, I like the model-type chicks.
–Bay Ridge
Overheard by: Jon A.
Battery Park city mom, about son: He's not even four and he can earn as much from one commercial as he can from a year of modeling.
–World Trade Centre Plaza
Girl walking around with a camera: People get so awkward when you're carrying around a camera. Come on people! Give me something I can use here! You are all models!
–44th & Lexington
Overheard by: apparently a model
Drawing professor: I'm not allowed to sleep with the models.
–Pratt Institute