Archive for the ‘Makeup’ Category

It May or May Not Be the Key to Resolving the Energy Crisis

Ditzy blond fashion plate: So, I've called her like five times, and I feel kind of stupid, 'cuz it's just lip gloss, but it was like a $38 lip gloss, and I really want it back.
Ditzy brunette fashion plate: Everyone on the train is totally laughing at us.
Ditzy blond: Yeah, I mean it is just lip gloss. Really good lip gloss, though.
Ditzy brunette: Whatever, lip gloss is important! –Commuter Train, Penn Station Overheard by: afalpi

Easy, Breezy, Beautiful: Wednesday One-Liners

Woman on phone: So, should I continue not being a whore or should I go get an emergency Brazilian? –Lexington Ave & 58th Girl to friend: No, I can't do tomorrow afternoon. I am getting waxed for the weekend. Just in case. –3rd Ave & 80th St Salesgirl to customer: You so have an exfoliating face! –Sephora, 57th & Lexington Overheard by: Amanda Creepy hobo on payphone: So, you're doing your nails? Mmmmmm… –Bleecker & Thompson Overheard by: Thompson Girl with pounds of makeup on: Yeah, I'm going on lunch right now. I am so exhausted, I did five makeovers today. Yeah, I am so tired…I had a butch. –Elevator, Macy's Overheard by: K Melv Thug: All I want is a mani-pedi. –72nd & Central Park West Overheard by: wb

Wednesday One-Liners Need to Leave Eden Eventually

Angry Spanish boyfriend: You know why I'm talking to you like this! Because your boss was sitting there and you probably had no damn clothes on! –Broad Channel Subway Station Girl to friend: Yeah, I can't wait until we take off our clothes and do our make up! –116th & 3rd (20-something couple is walking down the street with arms around each other)
Woman: So were you self-conscious when you took off your clothes in front of the children? –28th & 5th White guy answering cell: Negrooooo… I'm on the Long Island Railroad being completely homosexual… You missed it, completely naked… –LIRR Overheard by: Xavier Five-year-old girl, before performance begins: Are they going to take *all* their clothes off? —Hair, Delacorte Theater Girl to friend: God! I remember when my brother ran into my room naked screaming that he had two buttholes. –Subway, 14th & 1st Overweight middle age white guy to friend: I know, I get it, you like to sit naked in the mud while some guy serenades you on his guitar singing about things I don't believe and can't understand. That's your thing. I prefer hockey. –89th & 4th, Brooklyn

The Hills Are Alive with the Sound of Wednesday One-Liners

Music theory professor, explaining classical idioms: The reason we use these techniques is because the great composers did–Mozart, Beethoven, Bach. They knew what they were doing. Bach knew that Mozart intuitively understood the music. When he reviewed Mozart's work, he was like, "that motherfucker!" (slight pause) Yeah, more or less. –Columbia University Overheard by: Music Theorist Girl to friends: Imagine this: Spice Girls concert, platform shoes, glitter all over my body… –McCarren Park, Brooklyn Overheard by: do I have to? 20-something Whitey McWhiteface to friends: So do you think Lil Wayne tried to become a hipster or, like, it just happened? –Park Slope Overheard by: Hopper Guy to friend, while watching Radiohead: This is a great song to urinate to. –Liberty State Park Doctoral student on phone: I can't do my dissertation on the sex lives of great composers…I can't… No, it's just that the subject is too big… Ok, so 1950 to present. –Manhattan School of Music Overheard by: Xiao Hoah Dze Conductor: Please stand clear of the closing doors. And now for your entertainment… (taps on the microphone a pretty decent beat) I hope you all like my beats…I've been practicing! –F Train Overheard by: Groovin to the music

Wednesday One-Liners Are So Hot Right Now

Big muscular man on cell: It's so damn hot, I'm glad I'm not wearing makeup. –Outside Tribeca Deli Overheard by: Akiko Conductor: This is 42nd Street, Times Square. Number 3 train across the platform. Get it while it's hot! –Downtown 1 Train Elderly black woman to no one in particular: It's so hot my pussy is melting! –12th & Broadway Overheard by: lemchek Enthusiastic girl: As soon as I saw his name in lights! His name is so hot! So I have to marry him! –Thompson & W 3rd St Guy: I'm telling ya that it was so damn hot in there that my balls rolled out from under my towel and fell on the floor… like they was trying to escape or something. –Starbucks Dude to friend: I wanna say she's hot… But I mean she looks like the type of girl who accepts Discover. –The Village