Girl #1 to girl #2: Wouldn't you just rather have a night where we just get really high and scissor? –Grand & Union, Brooklyn Guy on cell: So they're smoking crack and fucking on his mother's bed! –17th & 8th Ave Overheard by: Dave Little kid: Look, I'm on crack! –Apple Store, Staten Island Mall Overheard by: Robert Junkie to junkie companion, standing in front of Band-Aids: I need to test positive for methadone and negative for everything else… –Walgreens, Union Square Hobo on train: Does anyone have any money for me? Any food? Any opium? Lots and lots of opium? –Uptown 6 Train Overheard by: left my opium stash at home 20-something blond girl on cell: You just have to convince them that you care more about college than you do about drugs, and they'll give you another chance…that's what I did! –Chinatown Bus Overheard by: GavinJoyce Tourist: So I called her up and said, "Come down or you're going to miss breakfast, and I want to have breakfast with you." And all she said was, "I really like opium." and I was like, "Oh, okay." –33rd & 7th Overheard by: EthanK
Tween thugette #1, at a cologne display: I'ma get this for him for Christmas, cause he a homo! He a hydrogenate!
Tween thugette #2: No, he ugly! –Target, Atlantic Center Overheard by: Ashley
Teen #1: Are we there yet?
Teen #2: It's right over there.
Teen #3 (screaming): I see it! I see Atlas! It's white, I see it.
Bus driver: Yeah, and I see dead people across the street…you don't hear me screaming. –Q29 Bus, Atlas Park Mall
Teenage daughter to mother, in front of Ashley Stewart: How about there? I'm sure they have some cute dresses.
Mother: Ashley Stewart is for fat people, honey. (points to three plus-size women entering store) –Kings Plaza
Teen girl #1: Yo, you ever learned about the Holocaust?
Teen girl #2: Nah, I ain't never studied no holocost. I ain't never learned about no wars.
Teen girl #1: Except the Civil War.
Teen girl #2: Damn, high school was shit. –Target, Atlantic Center
Very drunk African American guy to sober white guy: Yo, Wesley Snipes! You got any change?
Sober white guy: First of all, I'm not Wesley Snipes… –Fulton Mall, Brooklyn
Two-year-old, pointing to Citibank: That's my bank! –7th Ave & President St, Park Slope Overheard by: But who's your insurance carrier? Nine-year old boy on cell: Well, you know what? Fuck you! I'm going home! (slams cell shut and begins strutting across parking lot) –Parking Lot, Staten Island Mall Overheard by: WTF???? Ten-year-old girl in bathing suit to seven-year-old girl: Stop touching my ass. Whore! –Park, Astoria Little girl to group of little girls: Raise your hand if you're allergic to penicillin! –R Train Overheard by: cole Little girl to friends, pointing at platform: That's where hobos live! –4 Train Overheard by: Jesus Jon Three-year-old boy, eating hamburger: Cock cock cock cock! –Madison Square Park Overheard by: Alexis from Texas Kid in cart at end of dairy aisle as man he came in with goes down aisle: Ssomeone's gonna take me! Someone's take me! –Stop & Shop, Kingsbridge, Bronx Overheard by: Krisztina
Teen girl: She said money don’t grow on trees but yeah it do. Money made of paper, paper made from trees.
20-something-guy: Actually, US currency is printed on cotton.
Teen boy: Cotton?
20-something-guy: Yeah, they use denim, like jeans.
Teen girl: My jeans don’t be rippin like money, they using some low grade shit. –Staten Island Mall Bus Stop Overheard by: ryn
Teen girl #1: Wait, so you just let him do you in the butt? You let him sodomize you?
Teen girl #2: It wasn’t bad. I couldn’t shit for a few days, though. So I took some laxatives, then I shit myself in the mall yesterday. –Liberty Island Overheard by: binja
Woman: …Then they gave him enemas until it ran clear. Now he hasn’t had a movement in three days. Should I be worried? –Subway Suit: Yeah, I just left a floater in the upstairs bathroom. –44th & 3rd Ambiguously gay actor: Flowers come out. Girls do not poop, ever. Ever! –Tisch School of the Arts, NYU Overheard by: a girl who poops Freshman chick: I am so not in the mood to take a shit right now. –Restroom, Hunter College Cherubic blonde chick to another: You know that ‘BM’ means poop, right? –Metropolitan Museum of Art Suit-in-training: Oh, yeah, I do have to take a shit — I forgot. –NYU Stern Building Guy waiting for stall: Let’s go gang, push it out! We gotta go out here! –Manhattan Mall Overheard by: KeeZ