A woman wearing a Mick Jagger shirt is approached by a model, who tells her: I like your shirt. Then the model calls her son (about four) over and says: Look at her shirt. That’s his dad, you know. [Turns out that she wasn't joking; the model's name is Luciana Morad.] –Time Warner Center Mall
Teen Girl: It’s a good thing Jennifer Aniston and Brad Pitt broke up because I am so going to do him when I meet him. If he is with Angelina Jolie that is even better because I would totally do her too. I would definitely do both of them! –Staten Island Mall
Tourist boy, seeing group of bagpipers practicing in the rain: What are they doing?
Grandmother: They're playing bagpipes.
Tourist boy: At a time like this?
–Central Park Mall
Overheard by: ReRo
Teen girl #1: Yo, you ever learned about the Holocaust?
Teen girl #2: Nah, I ain't never studied no holocost. I ain't never learned about no wars.
Teen girl #1: Except the Civil War.
Teen girl #2: Damn, high school was shit.
–Target, Atlantic Center
Male black teen #1: You sound ign'ant.
Male black teen #2: I ain't ign'ant, you ign'ant!
Male black teen #1: You said “truesfully” and there ain't no “s's” in “trufully.”
Male black teen #2: I didn't say “truesfully,” I know there ain't no “s's” in “trufully.”
–Staten Island Mall
Overheard by: NewYorkLaw
Guido to chef: Ew, that looks like raw fish! It looks like salmon! Is that fish?
Japanese chef, cheerfully: It's chicken!
Guido: It looks like shit! I thought it was fish!
–Japanese Food Stand, Food Court, Staten Island Mall
Overheard by: Ashamed to be Italian…
Frazzled mother to young child: Hurry. Hurry. Look, the monster is going to get you if you don't walk faster!
Mother to small child: If you eat your two pieces of chicken, I'll give you a raisin.
–College Point Shopping Center
Overheard by: Yesenia
Mom speaking to son: Sweetie, do I look like a eggbeater?
Woman on bus to child with large hearing aid: Sit down properly! Are you listening to me?
Overheard by: Rose Fox
Mother to whiny toddler: I can't listen to you anymore! I fear for both of us.
–15th St & University Place
Overheard by: Sarah M.
20-something girl: I mean, I can always sleep on top of him.
–Strawberry's, Queens Centre Mall
Overheard by: i like that option…
Man to friend: I keep having dreams about being with other women, and I've never had them before. I think it must be the time of year or something.
–Hudson River Park
Girl on cell: Well, he slipped me Ecstasy while I was sleeping…
–23rd St & 8th Ave
Guy on cell: That's awesome! (pause) That's awesome! (pause) Dude, that's like reverse Sleepaway Camp!
–27th & 2nd
Overheard by: liz
Nurse: I just want to stop having dreams of him saying "pap-smear pap-smear pap-smear…"
Overheard by: p y l
Young thug to friends: Stop, stop, stop! Stop, seriously, stop. C'mon, I'm not kidding! Seriously. I have shoe phobia!
Guy with shoe in hand, catching up to woman who lost it: Here you go, Cinderella!
Overheard by: thorn
Manager of ladies' shoe store: It's easy to close. You put the hooker boots–all this hoochie stuff, with the hooker boots, you put the flats with the flats, you put the day shoes with the day shoes. Now, Narnia over there is another story…
Overheard by: Sarah R
Chick to guy: If you buy me Jimmy Choos, I'll have your baby.
Overheard by: Lets hope she'll have the baby anyway…
Four-year-old girl stepping out of taxi: Mommy, can we go online to buy shoes today?
–Upper West Side
Overheard by: …wow.
Very drunk African American guy to sober white guy: Yo, Wesley Snipes! You got any change?
Sober white guy: First of all, I'm not Wesley Snipes…
–Fulton Mall, Brooklyn