Chick: I get in the cab and in five seconds Billy’s got his hands and nose pressed against the glass. And I’m like, stop that! That’s not funny. They’ll think we’re fucking tourists. They’ll take us like the longest fucking way from here. They think we’re fucking tourists. You are not excited by the Brooklyn Bridge! Or the Statue of Liberty! –Lafayette St.
Archive for the ‘Manhattan’ Category
No One Invited Me
Woman: Something got stuck in my sinuses, then it went down my spine and had a party. –BBQ, UWS
One Year Later
This past week the first anniversary of this site went quietly by. Wow, has it really been a year already? Yes, it has. We just said so. Please pay attention. We hope that the site has made you laugh, or caused you to look over your shoulder before speaking. We wanted to take this moment to thank our readers, especially those who contribute, and our non-readers, especially those who provide our fodder. This site wouldn’t be here without the help of friendly ears. If you heard anything, do take the time to send it in. We also wanted to announce that due to the great influx of submissions, starting tomorrow we’re going to be posting twice daily for as long as possible. Onward and upward, as we once overheard someone say. –The Overheard In New York Staff, NYC
Non-sequitur theater
Businessman: It wasn’t the Buddhist philosophy that I objected to. I objected to the fact that they wanted my therapist’s signature. –Flatiron district
Straightlines without Punchlines
Man (to hipstress): You should get a tattoo of Ben Franklin. –22nd & Park Ave South Overheard by: Matt Law
Pledge Drive
Greetings, friends. Do you enjoy the fine, free quality programming here at Overheard in New York? Then you owe it to yourself to contribute whatever you happen to overhear. Together, we can continue bringing you the meta-humor we all know and love. Thanks The Staff
The dirtiest song ever
Female Hipster, singing: Boom boom boom, let’s go back to my room…
Male Hipster: I remember when that song came out–that was the dirtiest song imaginable!
– Lolita
Manhattan as a Pooper-scooper
Tough-looking guy to tough-looking friend: Manhattan is all about shitpiles. – Manhattan
That’s why everyone’s in tight clothing
Overweight woman: “I honesty think there must be a shortage of fabric or material because all shirts are baby tees and all pants are to small and low on the hips, I dont get it” – Manhattan
Without a Yarmulke
Young Yuppie: You’re such a third-generation American Jew. – 6th Avenue, West Village