Guy: I’o’really mess with Queens, or people from Queens. [pause] 130th Street and 5th Ave, that shit is mad weird! You ever been to his house! That shit is mad white! You never gonna get in a fight there. [pause] Who eats ketchup — by is’self? –Puebla Mexican Food & Coffee Shop, 1st Ave between 2nd & 3rd Overheard by: C-Dub
Dude: I saw that movie at that sex party — the one where Jim got a blowjob by a chick that was not his girlfriend.
Chick: Oh my god, that sounds awesome — I love it already!
Dude: I know, it’s awesome!
–LaGuardia & W 3rd
Hobo: Can you spare some change?
Girl: No sir, sorry.
Hobo: “Sir”? “Sir“? Where you going? Fucking Buckingham Palace, Sherlock? –15th & 8th
Journalism professor: Can anyone, for extra credit, give me two words to describe this day that will go down in history?
Professor: I’ll give you a clue — it has to do with President Bush.
Random student: “Mission accomplished!”
Girl #1 to her friend: Mission Impossible? What does Tom Cruise have to do with Bush?
Girl #2: Yeah, I know, that movie isn’t even out yet! –Silver Center, NYU
Female student: Do you guys have any empty boxes that I could possibly have?
Clerk: No, I’m sorry.
Female student: What about all of those empty boxes over there?
Clerk: We sell boxes, so we’re not allowed to give out boxes for free.
Female student: Okay. How much are the boxes you’re selling?
Clerk: Actually, we’re sold out.
Female student: Okay, if you don’t have any more boxes for sale, can I have some of those empty boxes over there?
Clerk: No. –Columbia University Bookstore, 115th & Broadway Overheard by: djlindee
Columbia girl: I can’t believe the 1 is skipping all the stops from 96th to 145th.
Guy: I know. You’ll have to transfer at 145th for the downtown. Subway stops at 145th. Columbia girl: Is this where Manhattan ends? –1 train
Drunk guy: Why should I invite you up to my apartment?
Drunk girl: Because I’m beautiful ASSHOLE! –80th & 2nd
Wheelchair guy: Hey, let me see that football.
Dude: No, sorry.
Wheelchair guy: What, are you afraid I’m going to run away with it? –125th & Lexington Overheard by: brian corcoran
Two tourists spot the people camped out in front of the Mexican Consulate.
Tourist #1: Are all those people trying to get tickets to a concert or something?
Tourist #2: Maybe. Do you think that’s Radio City? –39th & Madison
Lady: Excuse me, can I borrow a light?
Tanktop girl: Sure.
Lady: Thank you so much. [Turns and whispers to guy she’s with:] See, I told you. I think if you’re nice to them, they’re nice to you.
Tanktop girl: Tourists are so cute. –Outside Welcome to the Johnsons, Rivington & Norfolk Overheard by: djlindee