Archive for the ‘Manhattan’ Category

Wednesday One-liners Are Pastafarians

Man: …and then she’s gon’ ask me, “How was church?” I’m like, get the fuck outta here. How many times have I asked her to go to Goddamn church with me? Every fuckin’ Sunday, I ask that bitch to go to Goddamn church with me. Never! Not once has she come with me, now she wants to ask me, “How was fuckin’ church?”. –Sephora, 19th & 5th Overheard by: yassira diggs Mormon guy: So last time I was here, I was trying to get to Columbia, and I missed my stop and got off in Harlem. And I looked around and thought, “I can’t believe I’m the only white person here!” And sure enough, I was the only white person there. I mean, I was wearing a tie! –flight into JFK Woman: Oh boy, you are in trouble girl. Jesus says to come over here right now. Jesus says come over here now! –Brooklyn Museum Guy: So I really need your advice. My wife was driving on the LIE, and she had a vision from God telling her to sleep with this other guy, so she did. Well, I finally got her to move back in with me, but now she says I’m full of shit and everything I say is a lie. I really want to work this out with her, you know? –Penn Station God Squad guy: I love all y’all in the name of Jesus, ’cause I got Jesus! I’m blessed, you’re stressed. I’m anointed, you’re disappointed! –4 train Overheard by: saltylips God Squad woman: Here come da Jesus, fire from his mouth! –1st Avenue L station Overheard by: Adam Nathan Girl: Jesus there’s like a restaurant every two feet here. –46th between 8th & 9th Man: …come to think about it, my grandfather was in charge of the marshmallow burning during Joan of Arc’s burning, so I guess it’s in my heritage! –45th between 8th & 9th Overheard by: Alex Venguer

Are You a Boy, a Girl, or a Wednesday One-Liner?

Guy to three cute girls: You’re the best looking gay guys I’ve seen all day!

–Christopher & Bedford

Chick to dude: You could wear a dress if you wanted to.

–Broadway

Abercrombie tot: Wait, you can’t carry a boy dog in a purse. That’s unnatural!

–Penn Station

Tween girl to friends: No, she’s a boy now and she looks gay.

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: R

Cute brunette: Who am I, forcing your lovers into a male-female dichotomy? I am terrible!

–Columbia University

Overheard by: Wild Dog Boy

Wednesday One-liners for Other Places