A big crazy man walking his dog says: So whadda ya wanna do? You wanna watch Lassie? Or how ’bout Rin Tin Tin? Or whadda ’bout da Little Rascals?…Hmm…OK…Yeah, you’re right, let’s not watch dat. Lassie is a fucking lesbian and Rin Tin Tin is a fag. –Sullivan Street Overheard by: Brock
Guy #1: With that hat and beard you look like a Jewish rabbi.
Guy #2: Dude, it’s not cool to make fun of people who aren’t Jewish. –Port Authority Overheard by: Justin
Guy on cell: Don’t play games with me or I’ll break your fuckin’ nose. Have you got the money? Where’s the fuckin’ money? –47th & 5th Overheard by: Adam Bertocci Ghetto kid on cell: Yo, yo, you don’t want to play football? …Right, right, so just when you tackle them, put your hand in their pockets and take their money! –M14 bus Hobo: God, lady, I’m not asking for a million dollars; I’m just asking for some change! –14th between 5th & University Overheard by: theNJl Biker dude: She’s a shrink and a psychiatrist, so you know she’s rollin’ in money. –Starbucks, 27th & Park Overheard by: Brawny McBrawnerson
Guy: Why are you wearing tuxedo pants?
Jon Stewart: I want to raise my baby formally. It’s black tie in the
house. –Daily Show studios, 51st & 11th Overheard by: Jess McGins
Girl: I think it’s “Alzheimer’s”; they’re old but it’s not “Oldsheimer’s”. –57th and 3rd
Drunk guy: Excuse me, Miss, I’m askin’… I want to kiss your ass! Just the left cheek!
–8th Ave & W 55th St
Overheard by: Fred Daubert
Canadian guy: The first kiss’ll be at the altar.
–Uptown 6 train
Loudmouth on cell: Yeah man, and then, like, I was kissing her, and then I like, just started dancing with her. We were dancing, man. And then I picked her up, and she beat the crap out of me, and I had to put her down. Yeah, man. But she was a fuckin’ awesome kisser.
Overheard by: lucy in the sky with diamonds
Girl on cell: I can’t remember the last time we kissed on the mouth, can you?
–43rd & Lex
Ghetto chick leaving after fight with boyfriend: Kiss my ass. No, kiss my pussy while it’s bleeding, like you used to.
Girl on cell: He said he wouldn’t leave until I kissed him… so I kissed him while I was on the toilet!
–115th St & Manhattan Ave
Overheard by: Melissa Berry
Guy: We are such yuppies.
Girl: What’s a yuppie?
Guy: It stands for Young Urban Professional.
Girl: Oh, I thought it just meant anyone who lives in New York who’s under the age of 25.
–Angelika, Houston Street
Guy: I’ll have a pretzel.
Vendor man: What kind?
Vendor man: No salt?
Guy: No. With salt.
Vendor man: Salt is not plain.
Guy: Okay, with salt. Is that extra?
Vendor man: No, salt is salt. The other is plain. Like white people. –Central Park Overheard by: Collegiate Cutie
Black teen hipster #1: Why are there so many white people on the 2 train this late at night?
Black teen hipster #2: Please. All these white people are getting off at 96th Street.
Train stops at 96th. The white people leave the train.
Black Teen Hipster #2: Watch ‘em all scamper away!
Guy #1: Oh, that really sucks. So she wouldn’t even blow you? After all that?
Guy #2: Nope.
Guy #1: Did she at least finish putting up those shelves in your closet? –51st & 2nd Overheard by: Kiere Walker