Archive for the ‘Man’s Best Friend’ Category

Those SOBs Probably Had It Coming

Guy #1: Well, you know, I am a Mets fan.
Guy #2: Dude, then you’re okay in my book. You could murder puppies and that’s okay so long as you’re a Mets fan!
Guy #3: Um, he does.
Guy #2: Exactly! You can totally murder puppies if you’re a Mets fan!
Guy #3: No, he really does.
Guy #2: Totally!
Guy #3: He’s a vet.
Guy #1: I am. –Party, 74th & 1st

Who Let the Wednesday One-Liners Out?

Queer, to his German Shepherd: Steven, don’t play these mind games with me!

–23rd & 8th

Man, restraining his dog from following another dog across the street: C’mon, buddy. It wasn’t meant to be.

–6th St & 7th Ave, Park Slope

Woman dragging her dog away from another dog who is barking frantically: You know what? You’re just cuter than her. That’s why she’s so upset.

–Ditmars Blvd, Astoria

Overheard by: sara n.

Cop to his whining German Shepherd: Awww, what’s wrong baby? Did you see an asshole?

–West 4th Station

And, the Way You Go Through Rabbits, That's a Big Threat

Six-year-old girl to dog (repeatedly): High-five! High-five! High-five!
(dog dodges her and owner ignores her)
Girl's grandmother, excitedly
: I just know, in my heart of hearts, she's going to be a veterinarian when she grows up. She just loves animals so much! Even our little rabbits she carries around…I just know she's going to be a veterinarian!

(dog's owner goes to counter to check out)
Grandmother
: Okay, honey, it's time to let the man check out. Let's go.

Girl, leaving dog: High-five! High-five! High-five! (passes gum ball machine) Oooh, gum ball! (begins putting money in)
Grandmother: If you put money in there, I'll never get you anything ever again.

–Blockbuster, Flatbush & 8th Ave

Overheard by: smoon