Crone: It’s 2:30! Shoot me, please. Why did I ever marry that man? –Office, 36th Street
Archive for the ‘Marriage’ Category
Hobo Fun
Touchingly Humorous Bum: Yo, what are you doing in my house? You assholes! You don’t knock, you don’t wipe your feet. You’re so rude. I’m just kidding. I’m not even homeless. I don’t want to go home to my wife. She’s 380 pounds. I gotta work full time and beg in my time off just to feed the bitch. –A Train Overheard by: Tibbie X
Full Metal Tuxedo Jacket
Arab man: Did you dance at your wedding?
Marine: I prefer not to think back at that point in my life.
–Casa Bella, Mulberry St.
Wednesday One-liners
Drunk Guy: That girl’s tits are huge! And it’s snowing! –Fordham A man on a tandem bicycle turns to the woman on it and says: You know, it’s remarkable just how much like weddings funerals actually are. –Varick Street Overheard by: Sparkle Shortz
Maybe He Should Put a Ring on His “Finger”
Woman: I ain’t havin’ no more babies out of wedlock. I mean I only got this one here but that’s it. He better put a ring on my finger if he want another one. –Ave B and 6th St.
And now one that’s not funny at all…
Husband: How long were you running around with him?
Wife: It’s not your business.
Husband: It is. You don’t know how to behave. I have a crazy wife and I need to know if I should be with her or not. Think about it.
Translated from the Russian.
–Bleecker St. Station
Quite an Anti-climax
Man: Her first husband told her he was gay after 7 years. Her second was a loveless marriage. And then she had coffee with me! –La Lanterna
Frases De Miercoles
Young guy on cell: You're lucky I'm Colombian. If I was Ecuadorian, I'd be slapping you!
–Jackson Heights
Overheard by: Jobee
Angry man walking alone, to himself: I could have married a Dominican, but no, I decided not to!
–Mercer & Broome
Teen girl to friend: Your new Mexican is super creepy.
–On Line for the Colbert Report, Hell's Kitchen
Guy on cell: No, no, man, she's Puerto Rican. I'm just sayin' she's Dominican 'cause it sounds hotter.
–105 St & Lexington
Thug holding box of maxi pads: Yo, that motherfucker is like the gay Mexican Marlon Brando. Classic…
–CVS
Overheard by: Karen
…At Which Point She Became a Cougar.
Young chick #1: They got married really young.
Young chick #2: And he never matured?
Young chick #1: No, and she just got tired of waiting for him to grow up, so they got divorced when she was like 21.
–73rd & Broadway
…Once I Get Past My Musical Gag Reflex
Brotha #1, rocking out to Taylor Swift on iPhone: Why do you even have this on your phone?
Brotha #2: Cuz I'm gonna marry a white girl, that's why.
–2 Train