Tourist: Oh my god! That’s Maggie Gyllenhaal. She’s like, actually walking down the street! –Magnolia Bakery Overheard by: Jessica Blackshear JAP: Do not mention that freaking African queen and her recycled husband! –The Prime Grill, 49th Street Twentysomething woman on cell: I’m gonna be late because I had to walk Drew Barrymore’s dog. –in front of American Apparel, 7th Ave
Drunk Guy: That girl’s tits are huge! And it’s snowing! –Fordham A man on a tandem bicycle turns to the woman on it and says: You know, it’s remarkable just how much like weddings funerals actually are. –Varick Street Overheard by: Sparkle Shortz
Man: Her first husband told her he was gay after 7 years. Her second was a loveless marriage. And then she had coffee with me! –La Lanterna
Crone: It’s 2:30! Shoot me, please. Why did I ever marry that man? –Office, 36th Street
Touchingly Humorous Bum: Yo, what are you doing in my house? You assholes! You don’t knock, you don’t wipe your feet. You’re so rude. I’m just kidding. I’m not even homeless. I don’t want to go home to my wife. She’s 380 pounds. I gotta work full time and beg in my time off just to feed the bitch. –A Train Overheard by: Tibbie X
Woman #1: I’ve been with him for five years.
Woman #2: Wow. That’s the longest you’ve been with anyone, isn’t it?
Woman #1: Yes…unless you count my two marriages. –Midtown elevator Overheard by: Tommy Raiko
Woman: I ain’t havin’ no more babies out of wedlock. I mean I only got this one here but that’s it. He better put a ring on my finger if he want another one. –Ave B and 6th St.
Husband: How long were you running around with him?
Wife: It’s not your business.
Husband: It is. You don’t know how to behave. I have a crazy wife and I need to know if I should be with her or not. Think about it. Translated from the Russian. –Bleecker St. Station
Arab man: Did you dance at your wedding?
Marine: I prefer not to think back at that point in my life. –Casa Bella, Mulberry St.
Young guy on cell: You're lucky I'm Colombian. If I was Ecuadorian, I'd be slapping you!
Overheard by: Jobee
Angry man walking alone, to himself: I could have married a Dominican, but no, I decided not to!
–Mercer & Broome
Teen girl to friend: Your new Mexican is super creepy.
–On Line for the Colbert Report, Hell's Kitchen
Guy on cell: No, no, man, she's Puerto Rican. I'm just sayin' she's Dominican 'cause it sounds hotter.
–105 St & Lexington
Thug holding box of maxi pads: Yo, that motherfucker is like the gay Mexican Marlon Brando. Classic…
Overheard by: Karen