Meathead: I want to get the Jesus fish tattooed on my back with the Greek letters in it. But my Mom even has a problem with that! –D train
Meathead to friend: Yo, you ever ride the monorail from here? It goes from Jamaica to da airports, it's a pretty cool trip just to see. We should take it quick, you wanna?
Friend: Yo, bro, we're on a train, you want me to detour all the way to JFK so you can ride the fucking monorail? Yo, how homo are you?
Overheard by: rick
Sad-looking tiny girlfriend: This was just an awful shift and an awful day.
Meathead boyfriend. trying to cheer her up: Do you want me to sing the sleepy time song?
Sad-looking tiny girlfriend: No. I just want to drink.
Meathead boyfriend: I have Jack at home.
Sad-looking tiny girlfriend: Fuck Jack, I need fucking tequila!
Meathead boyfriend: No! You're mean when you have tequila!
Sad-looking tiny girlfriend: I'm going to be meaner than I am now if I don't get tequila!
Meathead boyfriend: Okay, I'll get a bottle.
Meathead Yankees fan #1: Hey, did you know I got a tattoo? (shows friend tattoo)
Meathead Yankees fan #2: No, man! When did you get it?
Meathead Yankees fan #1: A while ago. I was actually on my way to Pep Boys, and I stopped in a shop, and came out with a tattoo.
Overheard by: Traczie
(couple enters elevator, making out and groping each other as they enter)
Meathead boyfriend to semi-attractive girlfriend: Are they going to make me sign out and then sign in when we get back?
Semi-attractive girlfriend: I'm not sure, I think probably.
Meathead boyfriend: Well, if it helps keep you safe…
Semi-attractive girlfriend: Speaking of safe, I think I have another stalker. But this time, he's 6'3″, 230 pounds, and a fireman.
Overheard by: Z
Hippie: Jung would say I have a very low sensate rating.
Meathead: What? So you're retarded?
20-something woman on cell: So I'm like, "Be a man and go in the ladies' room!"
–19th & 7th
Overheard by: tycho anomaly
40-something suit on cell: Why do I have to be the girl?
–University Place & 14th St
Overheard by: rich
Meathead: To the point where the hottest women in Thailand are men. But I mean, no homo or anything.
–Uptown 5 Train
Overheard by: Can't vouch for this
Woman on cell: So yeah, men and women are different. Anyway…
–High Line Park
Overheard by: hudson williams-eynon
Guy, looking at friend's iPhone: Ugh, I really didn't need to see shemale penis today.
–99 Below Restaurant
Overheard by: Calvin SC
Woman on phone: Mommy, how many people do you know who have been raped as much as her? None, exactly!
Overheard by: dtrain
Woman on cell: And I didn't get raped on the subway today! It's always a good day when I don't get raped.
–6th Ave & 10th St
Overheard by: that's always good
Teen meathead on cell: Wait what? I can't really hear you. (pause) You got raped? Wait… physically or emotionally? (pause) Both? Shit.
–American Eagle Dressing Room
Overheard by: Alyssa
College bro to friend: Nah, dude, it's even better than a date rape drug!
Girl: There are some girls who he would be more likely to rape. She's not one of them.
Muscular mook with sweet tribal tattoo, driving Toyota Tundra, yelling on cell: Someone stole my fucking knapsack! It had my fucking Merrill's. My Sperry's. If I see someone wearing Sperry's, I will fucking crush them.
Tajikistani cab driver: That is the bad kind of Italian. I should know, I live in Bay Ridge.
–53rd & 9th Ave
Angry musclebound gentleman on phone: Wait, you're telling me you had people watching us fuck the whole time? (pause) Actually, that's pretty hot.
Musclebound companion: Yeah, real hot.
–23rd & 8th