Archive for the ‘Medicine’ Category

And So’s That Guy Who Plays Keyboard for the Muppets. What’s Your Point?

Young Man #1: No, no no no!
Young Man #2: You’re wrong and they’re wrong.
Young Man #1: Naw, man, look-
Young Man #2: You are WRONG and they are WRONG.
Young Man #1: They can’t, it’s not like-
Young Man #2: A psychiatrist is a DOCTOR, man.
Young Man #1: So is a massage therapist! –39th & 12th Overheard by: Keri

Wednesday One-Liners Should Not Be Taken If You Are Pregnant or Nursing

Kid to friend: Is your dad in town? I need Ambien CR. –Saatchi & Saatchi, Hudson St Overheard by: dlr Guy on cell: No, they never came. [Pause.] I just never got them! [Pause.] I told you you can’t just send random pills through the mail! –Strawberry Fields, Central Park Strung out middle-aged lesbian: How long does that detox stuff take to work? I need to be clean of the Xanax by my doctor’s appointment next week. He knows I’m on meth, but he can’t find out I’m on Xanax. –E Train Worried suit: …But I can’t be on Zoloft, so I don’t know what to do. –E 14th St Patient to friend: He asked for an Ensure. He got an Ambien instead. –NYS Psychiatric Institute Overheard by: nonrandomerror Suit: Her meds worked better this audition season -you could tell. –Oriental Garden

Is ‘Oxycodone’ with an ‘I’ or a ‘Y’?

Lady suit: I can’t keep coming here to get my prescription filled. They’re beginning to recognize me.
Suit: So what?
Lady suit: So, what if I get in trouble?
Suit: Why would you get in trouble? You have a prescription from a doctor.
Lady suit: If you say so. Oh, shit, I forgot to put the date on this. –Duane Reade, 89th & Columbus Overheard by: Veronica at http://everythingisused.blogspot.com/

Welcome to the Dark Semester Of the Soul, Bitches

Professor: Apologies to everyone in advance, I seem to have the plague this week.
Student: Are you contagiously ill, or have you been on antibiotics for at least twenty-four hours?
Professor: No, not contagiously ill. It's nothing like H1N1 or anything, not that kind of plague. It's more of a the-crops-are-failing-and-women-are-giving-birth-to-stillborn-babies type of plague. Yeah. –Fordham University Lincoln Center Overheard by: Admiring Student