Man walking down the street in downtown Vancouver to the woman next to him: “I’m Jewish, but my family has been in Canada for three generations” Woman: “Oh. I have one Jewish friend.”
Man: …I’m a real East Village type of guy. I mean, I have a bird that talks. –East Village
Man: Yeah, I know, I’m still getting over it too. I just can’t believe he won. I mean, Bush is the Ed Wood of politics. –88th b. Lex & 3rd Overheard by: Terence
Man: If I punch Spongebob in the face, it would be because he is living at a higher moral standard than me, as a role model to children. –Toys ‘R Us, Times Square
Man wearing fork bracelet (to woman wearing fork bracelet): Oh my God! Is that an actual fork? –Union Square North
Businesschick: Are you still with that girl?
Businessguy: No. She kept trying to get me to go to AA. One night out with me and you’ll see..!
Businesschick: Oh, I’ve seen the aftermath. The stitches, the blood. –Midtown Office
Three policemen are talking to a man inside Two Boots Pizza behind the security gate and locked front door, 9 am Sunday morning.
Cop: How did you get in here?
Man: I woke up here in the middle of the night!
Cop: Do you work here?
Man: No! –Avenue A
Garbageman: They all wanna fucking be like us. –LES Overheard by: Justin Sheckler
Man: I directed a show at a musical theatre awards dinner last night. All the great, older musical writers were there: Kander, Ebbs, everyone. You should see their wives. They’re gorgeous.
Woman: They have wives? I thought they were gay.
Man: Oh, no. They’re Jewish. –LES
A man hands a woman a brochure for erectile dysfunction. Man: I’m not only the president, I’m also a client. –MetroNorth Train Overheard by: Mark