Don Juan: Sure I got a seven inch dick, but the thing no one ever talks about is I got a seven inch ball sack, too. –Avenue A
Old lady to young man helping her carry heavy bags: What a nice gentleman! Thank you!
Young man: I am not from here. If you go to Texas, you would not have to carry bags anymore! –Midtown Overheard by: SH
Man #1: Dude, what do you do if that is your skill, your gift?
Man #2: What, being a poet?
Man #1: Yes, how do you make a living at it?
Man #2: You don’t. Either that or you call up Maya Angelou and ask her, ‘What the fuck do I do?’ –39th & 8th Overheard by: dan
Small man: Looks like you got a full lunch there.
Large man: Nah, just a donut, coffee, and a sandwich.
Small man: Oh, maybe just half a lunch then. [Pause] You should eat better.
Large man: Oh, I should, huh? –Broad St, Financial District
Man going into deli: Don't you have a sweater?
Hobo: Yeah, I got one.
Man: Well, put it on–you will catch cold.
Hobo: I'll put it on later.
Man: Put it on now, you cannot afford to catch cold in your line of business. –181st & Fort Washington
Man whore on cell: So for Christmas, I'm going to that strip club I met Susan at…just to do something special, ya know.
Religious woman: Because nothing says “I love my savior” like topless sluts and lap dances. –Central Park Overheard by: Jasper
Guy: It's like August: Osage County, but with zombies. –Manhattan Theatre Source Overheard by: Emily B. Girl: You know what they say: two in the bush, one in the wizard. –Dorm, Pratt Institute College student: Ghosts? They're like VT! –186th St & Amsterdam Black female suit on cell: Yeah, well you betta hope Tinkabell comes along… Or whoever the fuck it is who grants you ya damn wishes! –Penn Station Overheard by: emily d. Annoyed man on cell walking down stairs: No, mom, I don't know what werewolves eat! No, mom, I don't! Mom, I can't talk right now, I'm going into the subway! –Union Square Subway Entrance Overheard by: Masked Avenger
Older man: I'm really excited for Michelle.
Older woman: I'm really worried for Michelle. –Willets Point Overheard by: TCS
Proprietor: I heard you had a fall.
Octogenarian: Oh, yes. I had a fall. They even took me to the hospital for six hours. They tested me for everything except syphilis.
Proprietor: That's what they're supposed to test you for first.
Octogenarian: I wish I had syphilis. At least then I'd be having some fun. –73rd & Columbus Ave Overheard by: G
Grandma to kid: It’s really hard to kill people, you know.
(20-something sits down and stretches his arms out in a yawn)
Man sitting one seat away: If you touch my leg I’ll kill you. –1 Train Middle-aged beefcake on phone: Oh yeah? Well he’s not trying anymore because he’s dead. –42nd & Lex Overheard by: bildita Suit on cell: He was a great guy, until he decided to kill someone. –Smith & Wollensky Loud woman on payphone (very angrily): Well what the fuck am I supposed to do with her? Mausoleum? What? What the fuck? –96th & Madison Overheard by: grateful undead Seven-year-old black boy: I’m goin’ to Iraq, to kill Obama! –125th & Amsterdam Overheard by: The Drummey