Don Juan: Sure I got a seven inch dick, but the thing no one ever talks about is I got a seven inch ball sack, too. –Avenue A
Old Coot: When you take over someone’s empire, you get more of them coming in. I turned on the ball game, and the stadium was all Spanish! This guy came to talk to me from the Daily News, and it turned out to be El Diario! –Carmine St.
Panhandler: Spare some change? Help a brother out.
Panhandlee: Yeah. Go ask your brother. –Union Square station
Marine: Dodgeball is something that they would show me in a POW camp! I couldn’t stomach it. –Casa Bella, Mulberry St.
Diner: Your brown sauce; it’s some sort of, um…brown sauce?
Dining Man: OK, that sounds good. –Pongsri, Chinatown Overheard by: Joseph Schoech
Hip Hop Guy on cell: I’ll just keep my nuts shaved and everything’ll be fine. –Varick Street Coffee guy on phone: I’m not talking about whacking off, I’m talking about fried chicken! –Alt.coffee, Avenue A Overheard by: Dibson Hoffweiler
Man on cell: I’ll be in Fort Lauderdale in 2 hours, wait for me. –34th & 8th
Businessguy: It’s a small world.
Businesschick: Especially in Astoria!
Businessguy: Ha, ha, ha!
Businesschick: Hee, hee. –Midtown office
Man: I can’t eat ketchup. It makes my scalp sweat. –West Village
Man #1: I am getting ready to throw my annual party soon.
Man #2: Dude, just remember to invite women this year. –Central Park