Hip Hop Guy on cell: I’ll just keep my nuts shaved and everything’ll be fine. –Varick Street Coffee guy on phone: I’m not talking about whacking off, I’m talking about fried chicken! –Alt.coffee, Avenue A Overheard by: Dibson Hoffweiler
Archive for the ‘Men’ Category
“…and by ‘Fort Lauderdale’, I mean ‘Bayside’.”
Man on cell: I’ll be in Fort Lauderdale in 2 hours, wait for me. –34th & 8th
It’s All Greek to Me
Businessguy: It’s a small world.
Businesschick: Especially in Astoria!
Businessguy: Ha, ha, ha!
Businesschick: Hee, hee.
–Midtown office
Must Be a Zoo Thing
Man #1: I don’t want roasted quail.
Man #2: It’s Ethiopian.
–Bronx Zoo
Not Even an Albino?
Spa Girl: I just want to remind you that for 24 hours after your appointment you can’t have any food or drink with color.
Man: So does that mean that I can’t sleep with a black woman tonight?
Spa Girl: Uh…no! I guess not!
–BriteSmile Spa , 57th & 5th
Overheard by: Jackie Lee
No, We Only Have Pot
Man: Do you sell cannabis?
Florist: Cannabis?
Man: Yeah, it’s a plant.
–28th Street
It Told Me to Kill My Neighbor
Man: …I’m a real East Village type of guy. I mean, I have a bird that talks. –East Village
Does That Make Hillary the Vampira?
Man: Yeah, I know, I’m still getting over it too. I just can’t believe he won. I mean, Bush is the Ed Wood of politics. –88th b. Lex & 3rd Overheard by: Terence
It’s Master Shake Who Needs a Whuppin’
Man: If I punch Spongebob in the face, it would be because he is living at a higher moral standard than me, as a role model to children. –Toys ‘R Us, Times Square
I’m Thankful for My Alcoholism
Businesschick: Are you still with that girl?
Businessguy: No. She kept trying to get me to go to AA. One night out with me and you’ll see..!
Businesschick: Oh, I’ve seen the aftermath. The stitches, the blood.
–Midtown Office