Girl: Lisa went down on me while I was on my period. I decided just to roll with it.
–Frying Pan Bar
Professor: Let's all go home and menstruate! My goal in this class is to get all of you on the same schedule.
–NYU
Overheard by: Leslie
Upscale female suit on cell: I'm totally on the rag, but you can still lick my asshole.
–Park Slope
Overheard by: The Trooper
Gay guy on cell: I'm so cranky, I feel like I'm a girl who's on her period and pregnant.
–Park Ave & 29th St
Big black guy, loudly on phone: Why you bitchin at me because I won't cleeeeen behind you? I'm not gonna clean your nasty period ass offa the toilet! (nearby people begin laughing) Bitch, even the people on the streets be laughing at you!
–123rd St & Manhattan Ave
Archive for the ‘Menstruation’ Category
It's Bloody Hell!
Preppy blonde: So like, you know how it kinda hurts when your tampon gets too full?
Flamboyantly gay friend: Oh, yeah, I hate that.
–A Train
Today, Wednesday One-Liner Is a Woman.
Girl on cell: It just… It's not like it sucks. (pause) It just sucks, ya know? I mean, I had my period this morning, and I just wanna get high.
–Borough of Manhattan Community College
Overheard by: 447ght
Customer, buying two packs of Kotex: Next time you order these, you should get the kind with deodorant. It really makes a difference!
–112th St & St. Nicholas
Guy on cell: Dude! Guys don't PMS!
–Port Authority
Overheard by: allie
Girl #1: I once made a Nativity from feminine products. (awkward silence) They weren't used, though…
–Barnard
Overheard by: Brooklyn
When You Step on a Landmine, None Of Your Options Look Good
Cashier to woman buying sanitary napkins: Do you want these double-bagged?
Woman buying sanitary napkins: What's that supposed to mean?
–Pharmacy, Flatbush
Overheard by: taylor
I Think I've Seen This Video…
Wannabe hipster teen girl #1: My face is so bad cause I'm on my period.
Wannabe hipster teen girl #2: I think I'm gonna do my face since I have nothing else to do.
Wannabe hipster teen girl #1: Oh! We can do each other's faces!
–L Train
Overheard by: Wtf?
Suddenly, I'm Craving Fresh Eggs.
Girl #1: When I first got my period, my mom told me not to use tampons because then no man would ever consider me a virgin.
Girl #2: I haven't played Farmville in two days.
Girl #3: That's worse than the tampon thing!
–Pizzeria, Ave A
He'll Just Think My Virginity Came Back Again
Drunk chick #1, as she looks in the mirror: Hey guys!
Drunk chicks #2, #3, #4, and #5, in unison: Yeahhhh?
Drunk chick #1: I can't wait to go home and have sex with Cody* tonight! I love him so much!
Drunk chicks #2, #3, #4, and #5, in unison: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Drunk chick #1, truly forlorn: But I have my period!
Drunk chicks #2, #3, #4, and #5, in unison: Ewwwwwwwwwwww!
Drunk chick #1: It's okay. He's dumb. He won't know the difference.
Drunk chicks #2, #3, #4, and #5, in unison: Yayyyyy!
–Ladies' Room, Lotus, W 14th St
Overheard by: Uhm…
Only 479 to Go
High school girl #1, eating Ben & Jerry's: I am PMSing so bad right now!
High school girl #2, eating Ben & Jerry's: I'm PMSing so bad right now! Actually, I'm not PMSing. I'm on the first period of my life!
–3rd Ave & 10th St
Overheard by: miss blanky-poo
Or, Like, “I Can't Come to Work Because It's My Mom's Funeral”
Man: Ohmigod! I hate people that are like “I have boy issues because my dad molested me.”
Woman: Ohmigod, I know! It's like people who are like “I can't go to the gym because I have my period.”
–Downtown 1 Train
But Isn't It More About the Moon?
Man #1: It's been a special day. You got a raise, and his girlfriend just started the menstrual cycle.
Man #2: What's the menstrual cycle?
Man #3: You don't know? That's when, you know… the earth revolves around the sun.
Man #2: Ohhhh. I knew that.
–Richmond Avenue, Staten Island