Archive for the ‘Menstruation’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Go with the Flow

Woman to friend: Childbirth is just really bad menstrual cramps, that's all!

–Varick St

Overheard by: Cool Breeze

Woman to toddler: Put the rest of the money back in the tampon box.

–14th St Subway Station

Overheard by: alex

Girl crossing street to friend: And then I had my period for a month!

–Houston & Broadway

Overheard by: Wondering what kind of birth control she's on

30-something woman on cell: He said he didn't care, and pulled the tampon out of me.

–Bedford Ave & N 8th St

Overheard by: tamphex twin

Girl to guy: I thought I smelled alcohol, but it was just my menstruation.

–N Train

Get Embarrassing Stains Out With Wednesday One-Liners!

Woman on cell: I didn't take a bath with your dog!

–Long Island Railway

Overheard by: Jeff

Smug girl to gaggle: No, these are my period pants. My mom washed them for me!

–Columbia University

Overheard by: bih.

Very loud crackhead to nobody in particular: Today is great day…I got my pussy washed and I got new crutches.

–14th St

Overheard by: Cuttie

Middle aged man to another: I miss seeing my wife do squats while cleaning the tub.

–Central Park Loop

Overheard by: Nick Kinling

Woman with awful red lipstick: I am too lazy to shower. Ooh! Did I tell you I discovered dry shampoo?

–Broadway & 112th

Overheard by: do us a favor and bathe

Teenage girl to another: I don't know what the fuck he's talking about…I wash my titties everyday with Lever2000.

–D Train

Overheard by: Derrick Walker

At Which Point, the Party's Over Before It's Begun

Woman #1: They're teaching sex ed in school. But he wasn't understanding what “menstruation” was, so I told him it was like throwing a party, and you put up decorations and make a cake, but no one shows up so you tear it all down and throw it away.
Woman #2: That's clever.
Woman #1: And that premature ejaculation is when everyone shows up to the party two hours too early while you're still getting ready.

–Bench, Central Park

Overheard by: Rebecca

Everyone's Had at Least One Crazy Wednesday One-Liner

College girl to her boyfriend: Yeah, but you always make sexual advances on my roommates.

–Lincoln Center

Serious student: Yeah, well, I really don't want to talk about my roommate's penis anymore.

–LaGuardia & Washington Square South

Chick to friend: It's not about the toilet paper, his roommate only used baby wipes.

–Spring St & Mott St

Overheard by: Nick Caylor

NYU kid on cell: I'm still hoping to live in housing next year unless my roommates find out that I got arrested.

–Mercer & Waverly

Young suit into cell: You pissed on my toothbrush!? What the fuck? Fine, I'll get you a new pouffe… Fuck you! Pink or purple? Just get me a new toothbrush! You know what kind! Always, right? The blue ones or the yellow ones? Well, did you get your period or no? Okay… Okay… fine… fine… fine! Look, I'll be home around seven, okay? (yelling) I don't care who you're fucking, it's your turn to cook! Right, fine, talk later, okay? (hangs up, to very attractive female companion) She's really just my roommate…

–82nd & Lexington