Archive for the ‘Menstruation’ Category

Rent sucks. Period.

20-ish girl #1: Ugh! I feel like total crap right now.
20-ish girl #2: Is it your time of the month?
20-ish girl #1: Yeah. I have to pay the rent. –Grand Central Headline by: J-oh Runners-Up:
· “I Had to Sign in Blood.” – ewwww
· “It Costs a Lot to Have a Womb with a View” – Marv in DC
· “PM-Escrow” – jodles
· “Still Less Expensive Than a Nine-month Eviction.” – Ike
· “Why Rent When You Can Moan?” – JEE
· “With Money From My Menstrual Art” – Aku
Click here to see the new Headline Contest

If These Balls Could Talk, They’d Say the Same Thing

Angry chick: I am so mad at you right now!
Boyfriend: Sorry, babe. It’s not my fault you’re still on your period.
Angry chick: I wasn’t talking to you, Jake*, I was talking to my ovaries. –Morton St Overheard by: these walls are paperthin Headline by: Damo Runners-Up: · “I Apologize for Ovaryacting” – Katherine Duke · “Quiet! We’re Trying to Decide Whether or Not We’re Going to Trap You into Marrying Us.” – Kara · “The Whore Moans” – Stephanie L · “You Could Always Get Rid of Them, and Earn 19 More Cents An Hour” – Kristen · “You could have prevented this if you stopped wearing that damn condom.” – Josh H
Click here to see the new Headline Contest

5-to-7-Day Liners

Girl: Lisa went down on me while I was on my period. I decided just to roll with it. –Frying Pan Bar Professor: Let's all go home and menstruate! My goal in this class is to get all of you on the same schedule. –NYU Overheard by: Leslie Upscale female suit on cell: I'm totally on the rag, but you can still lick my asshole. –Park Slope Overheard by: The Trooper Gay guy on cell: I'm so cranky, I feel like I'm a girl who's on her period and pregnant. –Park Ave & 29th St Big black guy, loudly on phone: Why you bitchin at me because I won't cleeeeen behind you? I'm not gonna clean your nasty period ass offa the toilet! (nearby people begin laughing) Bitch, even the people on the streets be laughing at you! –123rd St & Manhattan Ave

Today, Wednesday One-Liner Is a Woman.

Girl on cell: It just… It's not like it sucks. (pause) It just sucks, ya know? I mean, I had my period this morning, and I just wanna get high. –Borough of Manhattan Community College Overheard by: 447ght Customer, buying two packs of Kotex: Next time you order these, you should get the kind with deodorant. It really makes a difference! –112th St & St. Nicholas Guy on cell: Dude! Guys don't PMS! –Port Authority Overheard by: allie Girl #1: I once made a Nativity from feminine products. (awkward silence) They weren't used, though… –Barnard Overheard by: Brooklyn

He'll Just Think My Virginity Came Back Again

Drunk chick #1, as she looks in the mirror: Hey guys!
Drunk chicks #2, #3, #4, and #5, in unison: Yeahhhh?
Drunk chick #1: I can't wait to go home and have sex with Cody* tonight! I love him so much!
Drunk chicks #2, #3, #4, and #5, in unison: Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
Drunk chick #1, truly forlorn: But I have my period!
Drunk chicks #2, #3, #4, and #5, in unison: Ewwwwwwwwwwww!
Drunk chick #1: It's okay. He's dumb. He won't know the difference.
Drunk chicks #2, #3, #4, and #5, in unison: Yayyyyy! –Ladies' Room, Lotus, W 14th St Overheard by: Uhm…