Woman: And you are not a lesbian either! You are only gay on weekends. –Union Square Overheard by: Adam Bozarth Teen girl: I know Jimmy’s not gay because he stole my girlfriend. –R train Preacher: Mark my words–by sunrise you will be smothered in lesbians. –53rd & 5th Overheard by: Kaleena Thoughtful guy: I always thought that if I were gay I’d be the manlier one. But now that I think about it I’d want to be the girly one for all the free stuff. –26th & 1st Overheard by: Charles Guy on cell: Wait…Christ! It’s gayer than three snaps in Z formation in here. –The Hangar, Christopher St Overheard by: TK Midwestern guy: That is complete bullshit! How do you make a dog gay? –Century 21 Teen girl: It’s funny talking to him now. I mean, in the eighth grade we knew he was gay, but not take-it-up-the-butt gay. –Uptown 1 train
Midwestern child: Daddy, what’s that candle thing?
Midwestern father: It’s called a menorah. They use it on Jewish Christmas.
–Spamalot, Shubert Theatre, W 44th St
Midwestern tourist girl #1: Hey, did I show you my new promise ring?
Midwestern tourist girl #2: Yeah, you did…Wait a minute. This one looks different. Omigod, did someone deflower you?!
–Baggage claim, LaGuardia Airport
Overheard by: jujumac
A hobo is holding a sign that reads, “Why lie? I need a beer.”
Hobo: Hey there, mister.
Cleveland guy: Is he serious?
Cleveland girl: I don’t know. What do we do?
Hobo: Smile, folks! It’s a joke! I need a whole six-pack! –Yankee Stadium Overheard by: Gave him five dollars
Tourist chick: Know what would be awesome? If we could manage to not sound like assholes for like 10 minutes.
Tourist guy: We’re from Ohio. –PATH train
Midwestern girl: Man, New York stinks! “How was your trip to New York?” “It stinks!”
New York lady: Why don’t you go back to where you came from, then? –Times Square
Texas girl: Oh look, y’all! It’s a half moon. That means tomorrow will be a 3/4 moon, and then the next night will be a full moon. –Williamsburg Overheard by: andybennett