Archive for the ‘MILF’ Category

Makes Exactly As Much Sense As Fantasy Football

NYU guy: I was totally into Obama until we met Sarah Palin and now she has made me all Republican for her milfiness.
Friend: You know you don't get to fuck her just because you vote for her?
NYU guy: But I can only hope for my brothers in DC. You know like some Bill Clinton intern shit up in the White House, but this time with a hot mother instead of cigars and shit. –L Train Overheard by: Nikki

Yo Momma So Wednesday, She One-Liners!

Woman on cell: Oh, and by the way, I called my mother to thank her. (pause) No, I said, "Mom, I'm calling on behalf of me and the girls to thank you very much." (longer pause) Well, she can just go fuck herself then. –90th & Amsterdam Ave Man on cell: You know a guy really likes a girl when he takes her home to meet his mom…and you know what, Sheila? You ain't never gonna meet my mom. –South Slope, Brooklyn Overheard by: smfd Female college student to friend: We really need to cougarize your mom. –111th & Broadway Overheard by: Oh really Guy: So, hey, my mom didn't die today. –W 26th & 8th Overheard by: Katie_AK Girl sneaking into open conductor's room in front of the train: Next stop, your mother's asshole! Stand clear of the closing cheeks! –6 Train Overheard by: Adriana Handbag seller on street corner: Yo! Tell yo mama I got her bag right here! –Times Square Overheard by: Taryn Girl on cell: Yeah, I'm bussin' it for now, my mom's on this thing that I have to show her responsibility… I know, it's like I get up in the morning, I haven't gotten arrested in a while, and I have a job, what more do you want from me? –Seguine Ave & Waterbury, Staten Island

Die, Wednesday-One-Liner Scum!

Male yuppie to female yuppie: So milfs are totally in right now. –Starbucks Overheard by: Lolita 20-something male yuppie, surrounded with Starbucks coffee containers and yelling at laptop: It took you six fucking minutes to get to the fucking page! Rawwwr! I'm going to rip you apart, you stupid fucking computer! Rawwr! –Starbucks Yuppie-hipster mom, to sobbing toddler: Yeah, I know, your life is just so tough. –Metro-North Overheard by: It's because those hemp diapers you make her wear chafe like hell. Yuppie woman: This is like the Third World! –8th St & Broadway Overheard by: Sam Chalek

Men Cast Off Women Like Empty Seed Pods

Girl: So how's your cougar?
Guy: She's good.
Girl: What is she, 50?
Guy: 52.
Girl: And you're…32?
Guy: 34.
Girl: She ever been married?
Guy: Divorced. That's how I got right in there.
Girl: So is this, like, something serious? Like a forever thing?
Guy: No! I mean, I want kids, and she keeps getting these heat flashes. You know? –L Train

Duck I'd Like To Fry?

Hot gay ginger: Ooh! Look at how yummy these grapes look!
Cute half-Asian: Not as yummy as that dilf outside… –Dean & Deluca Overheard by: reid r. Headline by: Myrtle Willoughby Runners-Up:
· “And So Grape Nuts Were Born” – DRS
· “How to Toss a Half-Asian Salad” – [email protected]
· “It’s Official: Gay Men Are the New Teenage Girls.” – Steve
· “Some People Just Prefer Bananas” – Hot gay ginger
· “That’s Why They Call It the Fruit Section.” – Jesse
Click here to see the new Headline Contest

Yo' Mama's So Wednesday, She's a One-Liner!

Sleazy biker, taking a bottle from marathon relief table: My mother always told me I should be bottle-fed. –Central Park Overheard by: Uncomfortable volunteer NYU student on cell, angrily: I was trying to show your mom a good time so I wouldn't have to stick my dick in her again! –Washington Square Park Overheard by: chris k. Guido on cell: So you fucked the mother *and* the daughter? –23rd & 3rd Guy to girl: Anything over 50 is a super milf! –Chelsea Teen to friend: Cause I ain't no full-time mama. I'm a part-time mama. –Church & Chambers Middle aged hipster with ponytail and gray streaked goatee: I'm a soccer mom! –Times Square