Archive for the ‘MoMA’ Category

We Prefer to Think of Wednesday One-Liners as “Found Art”

Girl on cell: So I bought this air conditioner for my living room, and it's entirely too large for me to install by myself, because it weighs 78 lbs. No, seriously, I cannot even get it out of the box. I know–for the time being I'm just referring to it as a Duchamp "readymade." Ew! Don't you call me bohemian! –19th & 6th Art professor: You should look at Picasso and Matisse. These people will be more important to you than your family. Cousin Philly. I had a cousin Philly, and I loved him very much. But he's dead now. –Pratt Institute Overheard by: traPt Lawyer to friend, about Vincent van Gogh: You know, I could have gotten him disability. –Van Gogh Exhibit, MoMA Woman, discussing gallery: It was all modern stuff–but not, like, the kind of modern art that children can do. –20th & 5th Tourist boy: You can see his penis! It's not art if you can see his penis! –Petrie Court, Metropolitan Museum of Art

She Started Out As Monet’s “Woman with Parasol”

Little boy staring at photo of upside-down, topless stripper: Daddy, what is she doing?
Visibly uncomfortable father: Uh… she’s exercising.
Little boy: But why is she naked? Is it because she got hot?
Father: Uh… yes. Let’s go find those Monets. –MoMA Overheard by: Alejandra

When You Wednesday Upon a One-Liner, It Makes No Difference Who You Are

Guy walking by himself: I wish everybody who is not mentally ill would just drop dead! –9th St, Park Slope Overheard by: Rear Admiral Butts Guy (admiringly, to attractive girl passing by): Damn, girl, I wish you were a guy! –14th St & 1st Ave Ditzy girl to another, about her boyfriend: He's teaching himself philosophy right now. He bought a philosophy dictionary. He can do that, you know, because he's so smart. I wish I could do that! –Astoria Overheard by: squarehand Young guy to girl: Dude, I wish Dali was still around so he could do my album. –Museum of Modern Art Overheard by: Gino Serious girl: I wish I had gotten the ovaries! –Korean Baptist Church, Astoria Overheard by: Evan

….And Groom a Bit.

Middle-aged mid-western woman of a certain age #1, gesturing towards naked man and woman standing in doorway: Do they want us to walk through them?
Middle-aged mid-western woman of a certain age #2: Yes. Yes, I think that's the point.
Middle-aged mid-western woman of a certain age #1: Well, okay. (pause) But first I'm gonna eat a mint. –MoMA, Marina Abramovic Exhibit Overheard by: aaron(b)

They Make Coffee-Flavored Condoms, Right?

Husband: I can't fucking believe you fell asleep while I was making love to you.
Wife: Yeah, well maybe if your dick was bigger, I would be more inclined to stay up!
(pause)
Husband: Maybe we should get a divorce.
Wife: Why? So you can bore some hot 20-something into falling asleep on your dick? –In line, MOMA Headline by: Baby Runners-Up:
· “Cathy Once Again Uses Her Overwhelming Logic to Get Out Of Divorce” – Erica
· “Isn’t That What Roofies Are For?” – KJM
· “Narcolepsy Destroys Families.” – KJM
· “She Called It His “Snooze Button”” – Taylor-Like-Woah
· “The One Conversation That Every Married Couple Has Had at Least Once” – I know I have
· “This Performance Art Piece Will Be Here All Week” – TV
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