Archive for the ‘MoMA’ Category

Abstract Expressionist Wednesday One-Liners

Woman sitting in front of bar with friends: I approached motherhood like I approached my art… –9th St & Ave C Overheard by: Juliet Street artist to tourist: I don't have empathy, I paint empathy. –Soho Hipster arty type to another: She deserves to be roofied; her prints are horrible. –Pratt Institute Hipster to another, at Georgia O'Keefe exhibit: That's a lot of vaginas. –Whitney Museum Four-year-old boy to father, at 17th century furniture room: This place gives me the creeps! –Metropolitan Museum of Art Overheard by: Me too Mother to child: I seen that picture you did of that boy kissing that girl. (pause) Darren, your art shit is going far! –Times Square

We Prefer to Think of Wednesday One-Liners as “Found Art”

Girl on cell: So I bought this air conditioner for my living room, and it's entirely too large for me to install by myself, because it weighs 78 lbs. No, seriously, I cannot even get it out of the box. I know–for the time being I'm just referring to it as a Duchamp "readymade." Ew! Don't you call me bohemian! –19th & 6th Art professor: You should look at Picasso and Matisse. These people will be more important to you than your family. Cousin Philly. I had a cousin Philly, and I loved him very much. But he's dead now. –Pratt Institute Overheard by: traPt Lawyer to friend, about Vincent van Gogh: You know, I could have gotten him disability. –Van Gogh Exhibit, MoMA Woman, discussing gallery: It was all modern stuff–but not, like, the kind of modern art that children can do. –20th & 5th Tourist boy: You can see his penis! It's not art if you can see his penis! –Petrie Court, Metropolitan Museum of Art

She Started Out As Monet’s “Woman with Parasol”

Little boy staring at photo of upside-down, topless stripper: Daddy, what is she doing?
Visibly uncomfortable father: Uh… she’s exercising.
Little boy: But why is she naked? Is it because she got hot?
Father: Uh… yes. Let’s go find those Monets. –MoMA Overheard by: Alejandra

When You Wednesday Upon a One-Liner, It Makes No Difference Who You Are

Guy walking by himself: I wish everybody who is not mentally ill would just drop dead! –9th St, Park Slope Overheard by: Rear Admiral Butts Guy (admiringly, to attractive girl passing by): Damn, girl, I wish you were a guy! –14th St & 1st Ave Ditzy girl to another, about her boyfriend: He's teaching himself philosophy right now. He bought a philosophy dictionary. He can do that, you know, because he's so smart. I wish I could do that! –Astoria Overheard by: squarehand Young guy to girl: Dude, I wish Dali was still around so he could do my album. –Museum of Modern Art Overheard by: Gino Serious girl: I wish I had gotten the ovaries! –Korean Baptist Church, Astoria Overheard by: Evan

….And Groom a Bit.

Middle-aged mid-western woman of a certain age #1, gesturing towards naked man and woman standing in doorway: Do they want us to walk through them?
Middle-aged mid-western woman of a certain age #2: Yes. Yes, I think that's the point.
Middle-aged mid-western woman of a certain age #1: Well, okay. (pause) But first I'm gonna eat a mint. –MoMA, Marina Abramovic Exhibit Overheard by: aaron(b)