Older gay guy on cell: In the 60s, you didn't need to have passion or talent to be an artist; you just needed to have a van, because no one else was going to haul your shitty art around.
–7th Ave & 14th St
Overheard by: Miss C
Girl reading sign at Frank Lloyd Wright museum: Oh… He was an architect!
–Guggenheim Museum
Overheard by: Antartic
Mom to little girl: If you look at too much art in one day, you'll turn into a statue.
–MoMA
Guy on phone: Yeah, she said she didn't think I would want to go, but why the fuck not? I'll go to a fucking museum if I fucking want to. I'll look at some paintings and shit.
–Downtown Brooklyn
Overheard by: Mark McLaughlin
12-year-old boy, looking at Picasso paintings: This is totally my thing, man, it's like free porn.
–MoMA
Archive for the ‘MoMA’ Category
One-Liners All Have Wednesday DNA
Woman on cell: And then he threw the wig and car keys at him, and to me, that says family!
–West Village
Overheard by: Kate S
20-something on cell: Yeah, I Rickrolled my cousin's Bar Mitzvah last night. No, he didn't get it, the sheltered little Short Hills prick.
–MoMA
Overheard by: Trevor
Young guy in deli to friend: So getting support from my parents is like dealing with a record label. You have to create a buzz, make it seem like you're doing something, or they don't want to be involved with you.
–Frank's Deli
Drunk girl: That's my brother! But we're both only children.
–Pieces Bar, Christopher St
30-something man to 30-something woman: When are we ever going to find a time when both of our parents aren't home?
–7th & 1st
Beacause Stupid Is Truly Colour Blind
MoMA desk rep: Today is free. Take your tickets.
MoMA guest: Are the tickets free? How much?
MoMA desk rep: No. For you, twice as much.
MoMA guest: Why? Cause I'm black?
–MoMA
Overheard by: Oh Kelly…
Headline by: The Limey
Runners-Up:
· “I Think a Child Was Left Behind” – samson
· “No, Because You’re Stupid… But Those Might Be Related” – john grisham
· “No, Cuz You Aint Learnt Your Zero Times Tables” – no math wiz but
· “The NYC Stupidity Tax Still Catches People by Surprise” – Ron D.
· “Yes, You’ve Heard Of Ladies Night? This Is White Day” – Leary Blaine
· “You’re Black Yet You Don’t Understand the Concept Of a Free Government Handout?” – BenGay
Click here to see the new Headline Contest
Wednesday One-Liners, As God Made Them
Woman on cell: You know, if it weren't for you, I'd be naked right now!
–14th St & 7th Ave
Woman on cell: So I enrolled him in that clothing optional preschool…
–Midtown
Overheard by: My preschool wasn't like that!
Burly guy on cell: Do me a favor: when you get back to the shop… No, listen, when you get back to the shop, sit backwards on the bike and have him rev it up. Naked. You'll cum in three seconds. No, trust me, trust me. Alright? Love you, darlin'. Bye.
–45th St & 3rd Ave
Overheard by: I want to ride my bicycle
Guy on cell: Alright, well, if I see you naked I'm probably gonna run away.
–15th & 8th
Girl, looking at nude painting: Finally, a woman with pubes!
–MoMA
I Just Felt That Stella Could've Been Given a More Emotionally-Challenging Role
Trendy young mom #1: Well, everyone wants their kid to guest-appear on Sesame Street.
Trendy young mom #2: Oh, yeah?
–2nd Floor, MoMA
Overheard by: Krashaunda
Or: “Guns Don't Kill People– Punctuation Kills People”
Teen #1, staring at gun with comma for trigger: So, what do you think it means?
Teen #2: It means: “as soon as I finish this sentence, I'm gonna kill you.”
–Museum of Modern Art
It's Not 'Tried As an Adult'?
MoMA tour guide: What's the first word you think of when you see this painting?
Teen guy #1: White lollipop.
Teen guy #2: Yo, that's my nickname!
–MoMA
Overheard by: jamie
I Feel Smarter Just Being Here
Gay guy, going through Miro exhibit: Are these paintings still Miro's?
Blonde hag: Oh no, I don't think so. It says here they're Pastel's.
–MoMA
The Melting Pot at Its Finest
Little boy dancing in circles: Challah for a dollah! Challah for a dollah!
Babysitter: Holla? Like “holla back”?
Little boy, stopping dancing: No, fool! The bread! (resumes singing and dancing)
–MoMa
We Prefer to Think of Wednesday One-Liners as “Found Art”
Girl on cell: So I bought this air conditioner for my living room, and it's entirely too large for me to install by myself, because it weighs 78 lbs. No, seriously, I cannot even get it out of the box. I know–for the time being I'm just referring to it as a Duchamp "readymade." Ew! Don't you call me bohemian!
–19th & 6th
Art professor: You should look at Picasso and Matisse. These people will be more important to you than your family. Cousin Philly. I had a cousin Philly, and I loved him very much. But he's dead now.
–Pratt Institute
Overheard by: traPt
Lawyer to friend, about Vincent van Gogh: You know, I could have gotten him disability.
–Van Gogh Exhibit, MoMA
Woman, discussing gallery: It was all modern stuff–but not, like, the kind of modern art that children can do.
–20th & 5th
Tourist boy: You can see his penis! It's not art if you can see his penis!
–Petrie Court, Metropolitan Museum of Art