Archive for the ‘MoMA’ Category

Regular Wednesday One-Liners

Woman: …Then they gave him enemas until it ran clear. Now he hasn’t had a movement in three days. Should I be worried? –Subway Suit: Yeah, I just left a floater in the upstairs bathroom. –44th & 3rd Ambiguously gay actor: Flowers come out. Girls do not poop, ever. Ever! –Tisch School of the Arts, NYU Overheard by: a girl who poops Freshman chick: I am so not in the mood to take a shit right now. –Restroom, Hunter College Cherubic blonde chick to another: You know that ‘BM’ means poop, right? –Metropolitan Museum of Art Suit-in-training: Oh, yeah, I do have to take a shit — I forgot. –NYU Stern Building Guy waiting for stall: Let’s go gang, push it out! We gotta go out here! –Manhattan Mall Overheard by: KeeZ

Wednesday One-Liners for Hezbollah

Officer to old lady: Hey, don't leave you bag on the floor, there are terrorist everywhere. –45th St & 3rd Ave Overheard by: StriderNo9 Suit on cell: So you're gonna vote for a Muslim and a terrorist? –MoMA Hipster to friend: Yeah, terrorists totally love Bush. –46th and 9th Overheard by: choosing not to capitalize the B Tourist: Are you guys terrorists? –Rally for Gaza, 42nd & 7th Overheard by: ooga booga Loud black queer teen: But his best joke was like "What do you call people who hate ketchup?" (no response) "Al-Qaeda!" (bursts out laughing) Get it? It's funny because they don't have ketchup in Iraq! –1 Train Overheard by: Ketchup lover

Wednesday One-Liners Mostly Just Stand Around

Security guard: Oh, man, thank god for anti-depressants and alcohol! Nothing like Jack Daniels to get you through the day. –The Met Building security guard to mailman: Don't you think tv saved the world? Say you've got 10, 12, 14, 16 kids . . . –William & Beekman NYU security guard to long line of kids: A'ight kids, e-z passes out. Put your IDs in the air and wave them like you just don't care! –College of Arts and Science, Washington Square Park Security man: No photos in Tim Burton! No pictures, no photos! Tell a friend, tell a neighbor, tell someone you don't like! –Tim Burton Exhibit, MoMA Security guard: Have a nice day… Now get the hell out of here. –JFK Airport

Abstract Expressionist Wednesday One-Liners

Woman sitting in front of bar with friends: I approached motherhood like I approached my art… –9th St & Ave C Overheard by: Juliet Street artist to tourist: I don't have empathy, I paint empathy. –Soho Hipster arty type to another: She deserves to be roofied; her prints are horrible. –Pratt Institute Hipster to another, at Georgia O'Keefe exhibit: That's a lot of vaginas. –Whitney Museum Four-year-old boy to father, at 17th century furniture room: This place gives me the creeps! –Metropolitan Museum of Art Overheard by: Me too Mother to child: I seen that picture you did of that boy kissing that girl. (pause) Darren, your art shit is going far! –Times Square