Archive for the ‘MoMA’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Are Fully Prepared to Dial 911

Female black security guard to male black security guard: So you got two kids that you know of… –MoMa Security agent: You are now entering the metal detector area, so those of you with wooden cell phones should feel free to keep those in your pockets. –JFK Overheard by: Jason Security guard to teens blocking entrance: Hmm, just what I need at 9 am, a motherfucking school group. –Paley's Museum of Radio and Television Overheard by: scarface Security guard on cell: Why isn't your hand on your butt? –Duane Reade Overheard by: Lord Almighty Library security guard: Welcome to the library, where your wildest dreams come true. –St. John's University

Take Wednesday One-Liners and Call Me in the Morning

Dude on cell: I have meningitis! I have SARS! (several people look at him in concern) That's what you tell them! Just get out of doing it somehow! –Amtrak Train, Penn Station Overheard by: Momentarily Panicked Irate old lady on cell: What are you talking about? She's supposed to be taking the train. (pause) What? The flu? Tell her to shove it up, I'm getting really sick of this. What kind of flu? Does she have diarrhea? A fever? Is she sneezing, coughing? –W 66th St Overheard by: Susan Volchok Woman to husband: Deaf people can't hear. –MoMA Whiny preteen: Mom, I have diabetes. I'm not even playing around right now–I have diabetes. –Marquis Theatre Overheard by: Just here to see the show… Girl on phone: I don't think I have rabies…do you think I have rabies? –Columbia University Dunkin' Donuts employee, sneezing near donuts, to customer: Don't worry, I work better when I'm sick. –Dunkin' Donuts

The Polite Term Is “The Ladies' Restroom”

Girl #1: Look at that painting. Is it called “hairy balls”?
Girl #2: It should be.
Girl #1: If it's not called “hairy balls,” I'm leaving.
(girl #2 goes to look, comes back)
Girl #2: Something about a baby.
Girl #1: Okay, that's it.
Girl #2: Look, there are thumbtacks near his balls. That has to suck.
Girl #1: Let's go back to the vagina room. –MoMA

I Do Now

High school girl #1: Oh my god, I hate her, like, I have never hated anyone more.
High school girl #2: I know! She is such a slut. (pause) We're talking about Chantel, right?
High school girl #1: No, I was talking about Lacey. (pause) You think Chantel is a slut? –Outside MoMA

“Don't Hate Me Because I'm Wednesday One-Liner”

Female hipster, loudly: I hate those two! They're egomaniacs with low self esteem! –Staten Island Overheard by: Johnny Drongo Sullen-looking girl: I guess it's just incumbent on me to be cheerful regardless of the fact that I hate everything. –Warren St & W Broadway Overheard by: Tha WB Girl at Dali exhibition: I hate people. I hate museums. I really hate Spaniards. –Dali and Film Exhibition, MoMA Overheard by: Andi C. Concerned girl to friends: Maybe if we stopped singing Simon & Garfunkel so loudly, people would hate us less. –Grand Central Teen girl: I just hate her so much! I'm not even going to Facebook friend her, I hate her so much! –B Train Overheard by: Jen European woman wearing I Love NY shirt, holding Sex & the City box set: I hate Americans. –Canal & Lafayette

Superpoke! Wednesday Has Thrown a One-Liner at You!

Frustrated stylist on computer: How do you spell "Google"? –Dramatics Hair Salon Hot Asian woman: She hasn't even posted her face on Facebook! –88th & 2nd Overheard by: Sam H. Teen to friend: My mom still hasn't Facebooked me back about taking care of my dog. –Bedford Ave Overheard by: kayt Sorority girl: Like…oh my god. We should write about ourselves on Juicy Campus and see what other people say. –Classroom, NYU Overheard by: Angela Middle-aged janitor: You've got to try that internet! It has everything! –MoMA Overheard by: Cristina