Archive for the ‘MoMA’ Category

When You Wednesday Upon a One-Liner, It Makes No Difference Who You Are

Guy walking by himself: I wish everybody who is not mentally ill would just drop dead!

–9th St, Park Slope

Overheard by: Rear Admiral Butts

Guy (admiringly, to attractive girl passing by): Damn, girl, I wish you were a guy!

–14th St & 1st Ave

Ditzy girl to another, about her boyfriend: He's teaching himself philosophy right now. He bought a philosophy dictionary. He can do that, you know, because he's so smart. I wish I could do that!

–Astoria

Overheard by: squarehand

Young guy to girl: Dude, I wish Dali was still around so he could do my album.

–Museum of Modern Art

Overheard by: Gino

Serious girl: I wish I had gotten the ovaries!

–Korean Baptist Church, Astoria

Overheard by: Evan

Security Guard: Ummm… My Breasts Are Just Malformed

Crazy lady, after announcement of impending closing: Don’t kick me out! You can’t kick me out — I’m handicapped! [Security guard stares.] I have my sticker! In my bag! [Announcement repeats in French.] I don’t even understand what she’s saying! [Minutes later] Hey! Is this a new Picasso? I’ve never seen this one before!

–MoMA

Overheard by: stoned assholes

She Started Out As Monet’s “Woman with Parasol”

Little boy staring at photo of upside-down, topless stripper: Daddy, what is she doing?
Visibly uncomfortable father: Uh… she’s exercising.
Little boy: But why is she naked? Is it because she got hot?
Father: Uh… yes. Let’s go find those Monets.

–MoMA

Overheard by: Alejandra

This Is Just Like the Time at That Funeral

Mid-30s male: I thought that we would see more chicks in this place…
Mid-50s male: Yeah! I mean, this is, like, a total sausage-fest in here.
Mid-30s male: Look at that slut over there. You could see her fucking nipples from a mile away.
Mid-50s male: I can’t see shit. Where’s my fucking glasses when I need them?

–MoMA

Overheard by: Wow! Where are the women