Archive for the ‘MoMA’ Category

Mommy’s Not Done Tucking, Honey

Little girl singing in stall: It’s okay that Mommy is a man, Mommy is a man, Mommy is a man! It’s okay that…
Mom: Brooke! Jesus Christ!
Little girl: Oh, Mommy is a man la la la la la! Can we get tacos?

–Restroom, MoMA

Overheard by: ChaChaCha

Wednesday One-Liners Have Lost Their Group

Teenage boy tourist: Times Square is by far the coolest part of New York. It’s almost like heaven!

–Times Square

A tourist is craning his neck to photograph the Empire State Building.

New Yorker: What is he looking at?! … Oh.

–34th & 5th

Tourist: There isn’t anywhere within walking distance.

–53rd & Lex

Overheard by: Not a Clueless Tourist

Hobo, after stealing someone’s luggage: Tourists need to be more careful when they come to New York City.

–6th Ave & 23rd St

Overheard by: BOB Sled

Tourist dropping money in front of frozen female mime he’s been staring at for five minutes: That was truly incredible. Thank you so much.

–Outside MoMA

Tourist: I guess we should go to the Ground Zeroes.

–5th Ave & 13th St

Overheard by: Sally Tomato

Thug: Just push them out of the way. They’re tourists, they’ll love it.

–Times Square

Overheard by: duffduff

Regular Wednesday One-Liners

Woman: …Then they gave him enemas until it ran clear. Now he hasn’t had a movement in three days. Should I be worried?

–Subway

Suit: Yeah, I just left a floater in the upstairs bathroom.

–44th & 3rd

Ambiguously gay actor: Flowers come out. Girls do not poop, ever. Ever!

–Tisch School of the Arts, NYU

Overheard by: a girl who poops

Freshman chick: I am so not in the mood to take a shit right now.

–Restroom, Hunter College

Cherubic blonde chick to another: You know that ‘BM’ means poop, right?

–Metropolitan Museum of Art

Suit-in-training: Oh, yeah, I do have to take a shit — I forgot.

–NYU Stern Building

Guy waiting for stall: Let’s go gang, push it out! We gotta go out here!

–Manhattan Mall

Overheard by: KeeZ

Hee Hee Hee, You Said ‘Wednesday One-Liners’

Woman: See? I’m really good at boning.

–Gavroche, 14th & 7th

Overheard by: the immature restaurant guest Woman, yelling over to man during downpour: How come every man I date ends up getting me wet?

–Water Club, 500 E 30th

Overheard by: Carolyn Burly guy: Dude, can you help me get it up?

–Gold’s Gym, 250 West 54th Teen: I was so thirsty. Anything that went in my mouth, I swallowed.

–LIRR

Overheard by: kaydot NYU trendoid: I need some nuts, like, hardcore.

–MoMA Conductor: Please let the passengers get off before pushing on the train. Get them off. Get them off. Get them off fast! –Manhattan bound L train Overheard by: Philip Girl: Ooo! I’ll suck on it with you!

–3rd St & 6th Ave

Overheard by: confused grad student