Ma: She said, “OK, Mommy!”. She took it like an angel. She’s really good at taking medicine. –D train
Mom: What are you, stupid? 14 minus 34 is not 30 blocks. It’s ten!
Daughter: No it’s not.
Mom: Oh yeah, wait. It’s twenty. –3 Train Overheard by: Rehey11
Mother: When you go into the stall do not sit down on that toilet seat!
Girl: OK, Mommy. Mother closes the door and goes into the next stall. Girl: Mommy?
Girl: I’m sittin’ all over this toilet!
Mother: Girl, I told you not to sit on that toilet! –Wendy’s ladies room, W. 34th and 8th Ave
Daughter: You’re always humming that McDonalds song.
Daughter: You know…”da da da da da I’m loooovin’ it.”
Mother: No, honey. Goldfinger. *Ba ra ba rum*
Daughter: Oh. –Central Park
Daughter: Mom, is beef steak?
Mother: No, steak is steak. –Mexican restaurant, Floral Park
Mother: Hey, have you been to the freak show…lately? –Coney Island Boardwalk Overheard by: Matt Law
A two year old Chinese girl decided to squat on a manhole cover. Chinese Mom: What are you doing?! That will warm up your butt and it will burst into flames! –66th & Columbus Overheard by: Todd Seavey
Mom: Don’t ever disrespect your mother! You can always disrespect your father. All what your father did was to shoot the sperm. Your mother is the one who brought you out to this world. No matter what happens, don’t ever disrespect your mother! –D Train
20-something woman: You’re going to worship my mother when you meet her.
Man: I will?
Woman: Yes. Because I do. – Pizzeria, Boerum Hill
His Baby’s Momma: He don’t pay child support. He don’t ever see her. That’s it! I’m calling his fucking parole officer! –West Village