Archive for the ‘Moms’ Category

Boys Don't Wednesday One-Liner

Mom to small children: Well, we all have parts. And these parts talk to our bodies and tell us we are a boy or a girl. And sometimes these parts get confused.

–Washington Square East

20-something girl to male friend: You're a dirty girl! You're a dirty girl! You're a dirty girl!

–N Train

Overheard by: TR

Mother to gender-transitioning son, questioning plans for surgery: Are you a boy trapped in a girl's body? I'm getting a face lift, and it's because I'm a young person trapped in an old person's body.

–39th & 9th

Man in yellow and green track suit and aviator sunglasses: Nah, I can't go. That's when I'm having my breast reduction.

–Columbus Circle

Overheard by: Ems

Teenage boy: I don't wanna be on that block, son! I know too many trannies on that block!

–Bedford & Grove

Overheard by: How many is too many?

Guy on cell, leaving message: Hello, Dave. This is your mother.

–Tisch School of the Arts

Overheard by: Bruce Lee

Teen boy: Fear me, I have vaginitis!

–Staten Island Ferry

Overheard by: Jingles

Wednesday One-Liners Eat at Friendly's

Mother to four-year-old making loud, weird noises in stroller: Will you shut up? See… That's why you don't have any friends.

–Supermarket, Astoria, Queens

Overheard by: George O.

Woman on cell: She put my friendship on the line for a Chanel bag! (pause) So I guess I'm worth like, $600 dollars.

–Starbucks, Astor Place

Overheard by: Kade

Angry woman to man: You had to fuck my friend?! You couldn't think of a better place to put your dick?

–Elevator, 75 Wall St

Overheard by: Jonathan

Seated guy to standing woman: I was out drinking with a friend. Well, less of a friend and more my parole officer…

–L Train

Overheard by: Bradburnside

Suit to woman: I don't believe in friends, ya know?

–22nd & 6th

Overheard by: Edyna

Wednesday One-Litters

Little girl to mother: I don't wanna be a lawyer anymore, when I grow up I wanna be a cat!

–Chelsea

Woman to friend: I mean, he's just so anti-social! He has like 19 cats!

–Lafayette & Prince

Girl to friend: My cat is a flaming homosexual.

–34th & 5th

Girl: And so she says, "let's follow the cat!" So we do, and the cat leads us to a pile of heroin!

–Cafeteria, Barnard College

Wednesday One-Liners Need More Bandwidth

Teen girl on cell: Are you kidding, mom? Google shapes everyone's lives, whether they like it or not. You google everything.

–W 28th St

20-something-girl: He has liked every status I put up since Wednesday. I haven't spoken to him in ages. I was like, "stop peeing all over my Facebook page!"

–42St & 2nd Ave

NYU student on cell: Honestly, that blog was the most profound thing I've ever written.

–Mercer & W 4th

Overheard by: Bloggers have depth too

40-year-old woman dressed as 16-year-old, on cell: Samantha, just go on Facebook and text him already. (pause) Of course you can do that, everyone does it.

–Outside Five Guys Burgers