Girl: I'm really bad at observing people.
Friend: I love Sleeping Beauty.
Girl: I can't write about art if it's, like, asked by my teachers. That's what I hate about this class. Last semester I had to reckon with a Louise Bourgeois essay… All her penises. Are you guys ready to go?
–Cooper-Hewitt, National Design Museum
Overheard by: Alex Bailey
Archive for the ‘More museums’ Category
Shish Kanish Is That Falafel Place Over on Third
10-year-old white boy: Mom, you know what I'm wondering?
Mom: No, what?
10-year-old: What does “shish kanish” mean?
Mom, staring at him: What the hell are you talking about?
10-year-old: In that song by Shakira it says she makes a man wanna “shish kanish.”
Mom, shaking head: “Speak Spanish,” Cory. She made a man wanna speak Spanish. Shit, you ain't never gonna be a singer.
–Tenement Museum
Overheard by: Excuse me while I kiss this guy
Maybe Somebody Nice Will Kidnap You
Three-year-old girl, singing loudly: It's hot and it's cold, it's yes and it's no, we fight we break up, and kiss and make up.
Mom, sounding desperate: Please…please just go stand over there.
–Bathroom, Intrepid Museum
Wednesday One-Liners Are Fully Prepared to Dial 911
Female black security guard to male black security guard: So you got two kids that you know of…
–MoMa
Security agent: You are now entering the metal detector area, so those of you with wooden cell phones should feel free to keep those in your pockets.
–JFK
Overheard by: Jason
Security guard to teens blocking entrance: Hmm, just what I need at 9 am, a motherfucking school group.
–Paley's Museum of Radio and Television
Overheard by: scarface
Security guard on cell: Why isn't your hand on your butt?
–Duane Reade
Overheard by: Lord Almighty
Library security guard: Welcome to the library, where your wildest dreams come true.
–St. John's University
I Think They Were Talking About Hearing Aids
Teen girl #1: I hated those guys sitting behind us. I just wanted to bash their heads in!
Teen girl #2: What? The HIV people?
Teen girl #1: Wait…what?
–Paley's Museum of Radio and Television
Or Am I Thinking Of Popsicle Sticks?
Man: I like that wooden thing. I like art that isn't painting.
Woman: You mean sculptures?
Man: Yeah, that's it–sculptures.
–Guggenheim Museum
Overheard by: Andy M
Explaining Will Take More Time Than I Have Before Someone Hits Me, Sweetie
Young white daughter: Mommy, what's a black artist?
White mother, awkwardly: It's an artist who's…well, black.
Young daughter: Then how come you said you don't like them?
White mother, looking around nervously: I didn't say that, honey. I just said I don't like these paintings. The colors are too dark.
Young daughter, loudly: That's because he's black!
(mother hurriedly pulls daughter out of the room)
–The Whitney
Wednesday One-Liners for Vanessa Hudgens
Girl on phone: Well then, riddle me this, smart guy: why'd I wake up naked?
–Smith & Sackett, Cobble Hill
Overheard by: Swimfan
Girl: Oh my god! I can't wait to see them naked!
–Elevator, Times Square Arts Center
Overheard by: Natalie
Museum worker: And then I woke up buck naked in a hotel, and there were pictures of me all over the room.
–Museum of Art and Design
Guy: No, I will not do it in here again. Just because I'm wearing nothing under my jacket, doesn't mean I'm going to flash a crowd of people in every store we enter. I've done it three times already. Get your rocks off some other way.
–Columbus Circle Mall Escalator
Overheard by: Martin
Drunk girl at NYU protest: I don't even know why I'm here, I just want to take off my clothes!
–NYU Kimmel Center
Overheard by: Lilo
Girl on train: Oh, hi! I didn't recognize you with your clothes on.
–A Train
Overheard by: Don't even wanna know
Girl on cell: So I'm gonna be naked, but that's okay, I'll be wearing rollerblades.
–N 4th & Bedford Ave
Does This Wednesday Go to One-Liner Street?
Four-year old to his father, dreamily: Let's go on the u train! The beautiful u train!
–D Line
Overheard by: Caitlin
Ditzy girl to friend: I hope there's an exit at this station.
–96th St Station
Amiable suit, answering cell: Hi, hon. (pause) Well, I can't talk long–I have to drive this train.
–Amtrak, Penn Station
Overheard by: Rich Mintz
Little boy: Is this train going to move, or what?
–Transit Museum
Overheard by: Rita
MTA worker in booth, over intercom: Hello everyone. The cost to ride the subway is $2. Only $2. The woman in that blue leather jacket and red hat thinks it's free. If you are standing next to a woman in a blue leather jacket and a red hat, tell her she needs to pay her toll like everyone else.
–6 Train Station
Wednesday One-Liners Grow Up Faster in the City
Little girl to woman walking by: Oh, look–another person, sooooo interesting. It's not like we haven't seen enough of those today.
–D'Agnostino's, Greenwich & Barrow
Overheard by: Margo
Boy walking in church to mom: And when we walk in we'll hear Gregorian chants.
–Trinity Church
Four-year-old boy, after plane's smooth landing: Whoa, that was solid!
–JFK Airport
Overheard by: jen
Kid at birthday party: I thought they were feeding us ice cream, not shit!
–McDonald's, Bayside
Adorable child having a temper tantrum: I don't want to walk, I want to go in the stroller!
(mother ignores him) I'm melting… I'm meeelllting!
–New York Transit Museum
Overheard by: NatalyaPetrovna