Husband to wife: I can't tell if this is a circus or a zoo.
Random gay passerby: Oh my god! It's a zoo!
Wife to husband: Well, I guess that clears that up.
–The Armory Show, Pier 94
Archive for the ‘More museums’ Category
As Much So As Anything at the MoMA
19-year-old kid, examining stack of legal-sized paper with type on it in a stairwell corner area: It's art.
19-year-old friend: It's art?
19-year-old kid: I guess.
–Whitney Museum, Biennial Exhibit
Overheard by: Amanda
Like It Was on Staten Island
Guy: Ugh, it's raining again.
Girl: Well, at least it's not raining shit.
–Outside the Guggenheim
Then He Bought Me a Car, So We're Even
Queer #1: So my dad put the dog's medicine in my eye. It worked, but I was completely scandalized!
Queer #2: Yeah.
–MoNH
Wednesday Flatliners
Dude on cell: Alright, listen up. If the guy gets up and walks away, he's not dead. If you come back and he's still lying there, he's dead, you follow? So, in that situation you are just going to go through the motions like we discussed.
–23th & 7th
Overheard by: mel
Random man on bicycle to doorman: You never know when you're going to eat a bad mushroom and die.
–87th St & York Ave
Overheard by: Critter
Jersey woman, looking at a case with brains that suffered from major stroke: Oh my gawd… They probably died from that!
–Bodies The Exhibition, South St Seaport
Guy shopping in art supply on a cell: So you're banking on dying young, then?
–Art Store, Williamsburg
Spacey old guy to friends, calmly: I want to murder that guy. (even more calmly) I've got bloodlust in my heart.
–9th St b/w 1st & 2nd
Overheard by: JKW
Woman on cell: You want to be cremated, right? (pause) Well, then what the hell are we going to do with you?
–Park Ave
A Tradition I Continue to Honor
Girl: Did you know that my ancestors invented the thing that links subway cars together?
Guy: Did you know that my ancestors got drunk in the subway cars?
–MTA Transit Museum
Vitamin C Gets Me So Hot
Queer #1: I think it looks too much like a cucumber.
Queer #2: I know…that's why I like it.
(both laugh dirtily)
–The Guggenheim
And a Concentration Camp Is Where They Make the Orange Juice
Tween girl looking at internment camp exhibit: Mom, what's an internment camp?
Mother: Umm… I think it's, like, a place where you go when you get a job as an intern.
–International Center of Photography Museum, Avenue of the Americas & 43rd St
Overheard by: Chris
Wednesday One-Liners Go Through a Grey Period
Girl looking at garbage and dirt spilled on the sidewalk: Gross. You think it’s supposed to be art?
–Broadway & Houston
Literature professor: So anything that anybody ever painted was a Guido?
–NYU Silver Center
Plausibly mad septuagenarian clerk: When I was 16 Stravinsky bought my first painting. It was written up in the paper. A couple of days later, I was kidnapped.
–Barnes & Noble, Lincoln Center
Overheard by: Seth
Father to four-year-old son: Looking at art makes your legs tired.
–Metropolitan Museum Lobby
Philistine: I don’t like art in which you have to understand the motivation behind it.
–Outside the Guggenheim
Overheard by: Devoted Puppy
Professor-type man to group of teens looking at Greek sculptures: And if the sculpture’s back is up against the wall and you want to see it from behind, just get up against a wall and look at its ass as much as you can… yeah! It’s not dirty or wrong… Just look at its ass!
–Metropolitan Museum of Art
Might Be Time to Retire That Commercial
Man #1: Hey, are you gellin’ like Magellan, ya cocksuckin’ bastard?
Man #2: I’m so gellin’, I fuckin’ raped Magellan in 1492 when Columbus sailed the ocean blue, before World War Two in 1942.
–Outside Madame Tussaud’s, 42nd St
Overheard by: These guys are so not gellin’