Guy: Damn, this escalator’s small…fat bitches can’t get on this. –Movie Theater, Times Square Overheard by: Alayna
Archive for the ‘Movie Theaters’ Category
Wednesday One-Liners, in Brief.
Man eating ice cream while trying to walk: Beanobeanobeanobeanobeanobeanobeanobeano.
–49th St and 7th Ave Station
Man dressed in green unitard, running in circles: Augghhhhhhhhhh!!! Aughhhhhhhhhh!! Aughhhhhhh!!!!
–Union Square
Moviegoer, after preview for The Blind Side: Blerrrrrrrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh! (vomiting noises, then audience erupts in laughter)
–Regal Battery Park Stadium Movie Theater
Teenage boy, taking gum out of his pocket and looking at it: Scrotum! (puts gum back in pocket and walks away)
–95th St & Madison
Overheard by: Confused
Your Editors Just Attained Enlightenment Over Here
Girl: You're running around like a chicken with its legs cut off.
Guy: Wait, how can a chicken run without legs?
Girl: I don't know! It's an expression!
–AMC Loews Cinemas
Overheard by: Michael Brawley
I Got Your Wednesday One-Liner– Swingin'
Skinny obnoxious blonde: Sheryl had a shirt that said "I love Wayne's dick." And I was like "Sheryl, why are you wearing that to the outback?"
–AMC Movie Theater
Girl to guy: Epic fail, you have a non-working dick.
–2nd Ave & 9th St
Guy on cell: Hello, this is sweet dick. Can I speak to tight pussy?
–West Village
Man to another: So last night, I was playing with my dick, and…
–Times Square
Overheard by: Dusty F.
Man on cell: He don't answer to "Leon" no more. He is now "Dick Dastardly."
–Union Square
Overheard by: Muttley
The Critics Are Raving About Wednesday One-Liners!
30-something man to girlfriend: I liked it. I mean, it really made me think: if twenty years from now I went in a hot tub and was transported back to today, what would I tell myself to do with my life?
–23rd St & 7th Ave
Overheard by: drose
Dad to teenage children: I wouldn't see Twilight if my life depended on it. If I had to choose, I would choose to die.
–Times Square
Acting professor: Did you see how Brando picked up her glove? He wanted her to stay. Do you ever do that? Take someone's things just so you know they'll come back? (dead silence) Guess you kids just aren't devious like me…
–Tisch School of the Arts
Older man to ticket salesman: Are Precious and The Rocky Horror Picture Show a double feature?
–Clearview Cinema, Chelsea
If This Conversation Goes on for Much Longer, There Definitely Isn't a God.
Boy, after watching An Inconvenient Truth: Do you believe in god?
Girl: I believe in mother nature.
Boy: You don't believe in god?
Girl: I mean, I do… But I believe this is happening because of nature.
Boy: But you believe in her?
Girl: What?
Boy: Mother nature?
Girl: Mother nature is not like a person… It's just a saying for nature.
Boy: Wait… What? Oh… (pause) I thought she was like a tree or something.
–Regal Cinema, Union Square
Overheard by: Noeman Samdani
I Wouldn't Expect Someone Who Uses Words Like “Elevator” and “Stroller” to Understand
British chick: I love my sneakers! They are designed to tone my calves.
American friend: Your sneakers are like the Twighlight vampires, lame and sparkly.
British chick: Yeah, but I'm gonna have the best calf muscles!
American friend: Okay!
–AMC Loews Kips Bay Theatre Movie
Some Countries Blame the Juice for Everything
Tall, gay, black guy: Girl, I learned a lot watching that movie. There's a lot of sexism in Sweden.
White female friend: Who knew? You'd think they'd be more advanced.
Tall, gay, black guy: And apparently, they have a lot of anti-semenism too.
–Film Forum
Overheard by: Peter K.
…As You Should've Read in My Dossier Before You Agreed to Date Me.
Fat suit during movie, about fur coat on screen: Do you want one of those?
Girl half his age: No, I don't really like fur.
–Regal Cinema 14
Overheard by: Mark
And His Own Stock Portfolio.
Little girl: I just don't understand why…
Dad: Look here: I'll give you the money for the tickets and you can buy the tickets for the movie!
Little girl, sounding less than enthused: Uh-huh. Timmy's five, like me, and he has a cell phone…
–Loews Movie Theater, Lincoln Square