Archive for the ‘Movies’ Category

Jurassic Wednesday One-Liners

College guy: These are the best dinosaurs I've eaten all day! –Fordham University, Lincoln Center Campus Ecstatic five-year-old girl: The dinosaurs! I can't wait to see the dinosaurs! –Metropolitan Museum of Art Overheard by: Miss Guided Hippie girl: Yeah, I don't know about the eyeballs, but the dinosaurs are great! –39th St & 8th Ave Overheard by: Natalie Girl on stoop: Yo, man, I wish our dinosaurs could talk. –St. Mark's & 3rd Overheard by: Anna P. Girl on cell: Because–you know what? Because I don't etch on my DVDs with pterodactyls! –Court Street, Brooklyn Heights Overheard by: Danielle Guy rooting through trash: If you were a dinosaur I'd be a dinosaur right beside you. –W 80th & Amsterdam

Wednesday One-Liners Would Like to Thank the Academy

Sassy eight-year-old to mother: You don't know Spanish except what you learned from Selena. –2 Train Chick on cell: Watching 27 Dresses in a cheetah robe… –110th & Broadway Overheard by: Virginia Little boy, as his mother asks for directions: Great, we're lost in New York City. It's like Home Alone! –Across from Spamalot Theatre Fag to hag: Don't you remember that time on Titanic when Leonardo DiCaprio told you not to just talk about it, but do it? He was gonna teach you how to spit like a man and ride a horse like a man, and then the ship sank and he died. This is your moment. Spit, woman, spit! –Natural History Museum (at a screening of The Shining)
Woman: Haha! How can a ghost open a door? This movie sucks! –Empire-Fulton Ferry State Park Thug to another: And she said she wanna go to the movies. And I said I don't wanna go to the movies, I want some pussy! –57th & 9th Overheard by: JPM Panhandler on train: Please, I can't afford the rent at the YMCA because they just raised it. So if anyone has some money or some food or something to drink, it would really help me out. Jesus loves people who help poor people. Also, don't forget to see the new summer blockbuster Hellboy II. It's really great. –F Train Overheard by: JB

There Are No Small Wednesdays– Only Small One-Liners.

Girl on cell, defiantly: Listen, I can keep my midget in your closet whenever I damn please! –72nd & Columbus Man handing out cards to random passers-by: They have midget strippers, buddy, and you can bring your guitar! –42nd & 7th Overheard by: Katy Guy, to friend: You can't call yourself a grown man if you sit down and your feet dangle off the chair. –Victoria's Secret Overheard by: Emm Black guy pushing cart: Man, I miss my two-headed midget friend… He was my best man. –Union Square Woman on cell: Have I been an angry little munchkin? –Whole Foods, Union Square Overheard by: TheMac

Wednesday One-Liners Really Bug Me

Geek speedwalking through rush-hour crowd with hands over head: Parasites, parasites, parasites! –34th St & 7th Ave Overheard by: it is what it is African-American lady: The secret life of… What? Who's "bees"? –Loews Kips Bay Overheard by: Robert Gleyberman Woman: I'm a fruit fly. That's like a fag hag, only prettier. –3rd & St. Mark's Female suit on cell: We're dealing with racist ladybugs here. –44th & Lexington Overheard by: LP421