Archive for the ‘Movies’ Category

Bison Burger Up for Mr. Polanski

Waiter: Would you like to order now?
Man: No, I’m waiting for my sister.
Waiter: You said before that you were waiting for your wife.
Man: No, I didn’t. I said it was my sister.
Waiter: No, you didn’t.
Man: Would you like to be in movies?
Waiter: No, why?
Man: You have a really nice speaking voice. You should think about it.
Waiter: You really think so?
Man: Yeah. I make movies. You should give it a try. –Lyric Diner, 22nd & 3rd

Wednesday One-Liners Ain't Got the Money, Honey

Older man, to no one in particular: That's why I keep my income low, so no one jumps me.

–Myrtle & Clinton, Brooklyn

Woman with scratch-off lotto card to friend: I won four dollars! I won four dollars! You know I can't spend that, though. I gotta get food for my kids. Those niggas be hungry!

–Staten Island Ferry

Angelic-looking teen girl screaming into cell: Are you coming to the movies with me? You're broke? Just mug someone on the way. Mug someone! (pause) Mug! M-u-g! Rhymes with "thug"!

–Chambers & West St

Puerto Rican dude on cell: I ain't got no money. I got weed, but I ain't got no money.

–25th St & 7th Ave

Village lady: She was in foreclosure before it was fashionable to be in foreclosure.

–Bleecker & Mercer

Wednesday One-liners Have Cool Spiny Backs and Tiny Tiny Brains

Woman: That movie’s so stupid! They got King Kong and the dinosaurs fighting even though they are from different centuries. –Mama’s Pizza, 106th & Amsterdam Overheard by: Kyle T Teen girl: You know, I don’t think I even believe in dinosaurs. –Starbucks, Astor Place Overheard by: Paul

The Culture of Wednesday One-liners

Woman on cell: I don’t think people know why they go to museums. They mostly go so they can tell their friends later, “Oh, yeah, I went to the Metropolitan today.” –West 53rd between 5th & 6th Suit: Foie gras? You’ve got to be kidding, it’s not even in season! I don’t have the money for that! I just spent $50 on boxers! –34th & 5th Dude: I can’t respect a guy who does capoeira. –University & 14th Overheard by: Kim Reporter: She saw a Pauly Shore movie and that made her want to join the Army? Wow! –Daily News offices, W. 33rd Street Woman: Remember, you break it you buy it. –Fine china section, Metropolitan Museum of Art Overheard by: jen wik

Wednesday One-Liners Have 23 Intelligence, but 6 Charisma

Fat college guy on cell: I only read books with robot insects on the cover. If it doesn’t have robot insects, I slap a sticker on. Pride and Prejudice? Robot insects on the cover makes it better.

–Metro-North

Overheard by: Ferry

Guy to friend: Look, the root of the problem is that you have a shrine dedicated to semi-colons in your closest! I don’t care if they’re the god of all punctuation marks, that’s just weird!

–Stuyvesant High School

Metrosexual: I’m fairly certain that I’ve read every single fantasy series that has dragons in it.

–Stuyvesant Town

Overheard by: Karin

Ghetto chick: Nah, all I’m sayin’s is that even if you look like Steve Urkel, as long as you got the brain of Steve Urkel, you good with me.

–Jamaica-bound F train

Overheard by: Floyd

Leader of pack of teen boys dressed up like Star Trek characters: I didn’t say it was a good planet…

–Tuxedo Renaissance Festival

Overheard by: Murray