Archive for the ‘Movies’ Category

Then What's the War on Polyester?

Tattooed man holding copy of Peaceful Warrior: What about this? I think I'd like this.
Girlfriend: Why?
Tattooed man: It's about a big war or something.
Girlfriend (reading back of DVD): No, no. It's about a warrior.
Tattooed man: Yeah, so there has to be a war if there's a warrior.
Girlfriend: I don't think it's about a real war, it says something here about gymnastics.
Tattooed man: Gymnastics? That's like a faggot war or something. –Hollywood Video, Staten Island

Raise Your Hand If The Biggest Loser Pisses You Off

Mother: What would you guys want if we get McDonald's? We haven't had it in so long…
20-something son: We haven't had it in so long because it's so fattening and gross. Do you know how much fat is in just one of their wraps?
Teenage son: This is not The Biggest Loser. This is called We're Getting McDonald's. –Hylan Boulevard, Staten Island

Wednesday One-Liners for Stephen Colbert

Suit on phone: The dream was strange…we are in a library …I say something like "it's a liability." Then you said "your mom's a liability." That was it…I don't know. –Gramercy Park Overheard by: POLA Young suit to another: The world is not your oyster! –Bryant Park Overheard by: Amy Suit to another, as 30-something woman in skirt and high heels passes by: Yowza! And that ends our case study! –Madison Ave & 40th St Overheard by: Casey Stressed female suit: No one gives a fuck anymore. Everyone's just gonna do what they want. And any further complaints can be directed to my ass. –University St b/w 8th & Waverly Middle-aged Asian man in three-piece suit on cell: I mean, how can I live like Bond if I'm married? –46th St & Madison Ave Overheard by: dr. no, i dont do 20-something female suit on cell: Baby, I would love to go to dinner, but you have two options: dinner or sex. I only have time for one. –27th St & Park Ave