Those are some tambourines you have

Woman upon seeing a Mariachi band walk by: Why do they have tambourines on their legs? – Manhattan

What Have They Ever Done to Hurt Anyone?

Effeminate guy on cell phone: …And we don’t want any fat German ladies
in the house. –Post office, 23rd and Lex Overheard by: Megan Buckley

Obviously a Just Society

Yuppie: People at South Africa talk so much less racist than in NY. Everyone tells many more racist jokes in New York than in South Africa. –Sutton Place

Personal Foul

Black kid: Miss, buy some candy to support my school’s basketball team.
Indian woman: No thank you.
Black kid: Man, you people don’t buy nothing. But you sure speak good English. –40th St. & Lex.

Who Says No Classy People Ride the Bus?

Old lady (looking directly at Hispanic woman and her baby): They don’t speak English and they don’t wanna learn. They just want pay from America. They hate our guts.
[to baby]: Give your Mommy a kiss! –B6 Bus, Brooklyn

You know you’re Not in New York when… (Part Seven)

Young man in Vancouver: “It’s so hard to meet anyone here who is Jewish!”

You know you’re Not in New York when… (Part Five)

Man walking down the street in downtown Vancouver to the woman next to him: “I’m Jewish, but my family has been in Canada for three generations” Woman: “Oh. I have one Jewish friend.”

Brooklyn Ballbusters

Deli guy (to another deli guy): He’s got a shrimp salad sandwich too. Here, I’ll mark the paper for you so you don’t get confused. I know your brain, it don’t work so good. Do you want me to write it in Mexican or in English?

Crossfire for the Dim-witted

Black Girl: Yeah, it’s like some Irish guy waving a British flag around.
Spanish Girl: Why you gotta be saying that? How do you know half my family ain’t Irish?
Black Guy: You want politics, you want diversity? L.E.S., baby, L.E.S., is where it’s at! –Karma, 1st Ave. Overheard by: Tibbie X

Hey, It Works With All Three Definitions!

Artist: Where are you from?
Tourist: Israel.
Artist: Shalom. –SoHo