Archive for the ‘Multiculturalism, Overheard Style’ Category

One Of the Few Countries the U.S. Never Tried to Invade

Dominican girl #1: Yo, when you go to the Dominican republic, everyone is mad nice to you because they think you are rich and can help them out. Everyone there thinks people in the US are all rich.
Dominican girl #2: Yeah, but they don't know we got poor people here, too.
Dominican girl #1: Word, they think the whole country's rich, like Ireland.

–Vanessa's Dumplings, 14th St

The White Devil's Wednesday One-Liners

Older black man to nobody in particular: Ain't nothin' done changed in two-hundred years! White folks is still goin' round makin' a mess and then makin' a black man come in and clean up after them…

–Post Office, Gun Hill & Jerome, The Bronx

Asian girl: Do white people eat sandwiches for dinner?

–Grand Central

Overheard by: Spec

Black teen girl: If a sister is feeding a white bitch, you know she is fucked up.

–T.G.I. Friday's

Overheard by: Chris K

Black chick: But can a Frenchman be a honky?

–Park Slope, Brooklyn

Overheard by: Hunter

Linguistically savvy hobo: The term "cracker" originated from a man named Robert Whitely. It was used to refer to people as "white trash".

–37th & 3rd

Latina woman to elderly mother: We gonna find you a seat soon, mami. If I gotta beat up white bitches… Let's go.

–3rd & 1st

Overheard by: j

Mr. Yankovic's Wednesday One-Liners

Random white male on cell: People thought I was weird as shit in high school… Cause I hung out with all the black people!

–Washington Square Park

Uptown girl: This place is…this is weird.

–St. Mark's Place & 2nd Ave

Overheard by: Emily B.

Girl: She was weird. She had, like, a Midwestern accent or something. I think she was from Maine.

–Brooklyn Tech

Overheard by: Julie

Tattooed 20-something girl: He's such a weirdo; I had to ask six times for his urine.

–J Train

Overheard by: Adam Nathan

Chick on cell: He's had his dick in me, but I worry it would be out of line to Facebook friend him. Modern life is so weird.

–Columbia University

Wednesday One-Liners Get Schooled

Professor: So what do we know about these debt notes?" (silence) So what do *I* know about these debt notes, that obviously you don't know?

–NYU Law School

Overheard by: Ames

Professor: My favorite words to hear are "just do nothing." My second favorites are "open bar."

–College of Mount Saint Vincent, Bronx

Environmental history professor: Look at some of the items on this menu from a hotel of Chicago Thanksgiving dinner from 1872: loin of buffalo, antelope steak in mushroom sauce, ham of bear, black tail deer, leg of mountain sheep, buffalo tongue… Miss Palin, your table is ready.

–Classroom, Fordham University

Overheard by: Martin Van Nostrand

Linguistics professor, about Spanish-speaking families who live in Spanish-speaking neighborhoods: The only English these people hear is from their landlords and social workers.

–NYU Silver Center

Overheard by: Latka Hero

NYU professor: So we're going to be walking, and you'll notice I walk pretty fast. But we're in New York, and you're supposed to walk like you know exactly where you're going in life and nothing is in your way. Because if you slow down you'll get mugged. (beat) It's dog eat dog, people.

–NYU Classroom

Russian literature professor: Oh my god, you just totally missed the point of Jesus!

–NYU Classroom