Girl on cell: I shit you not, it was a small studio apartment converted into a four bedroom on the 6th floor. –47th & 9th Fat suit on cell: How many people play the drums in Poland, really?…What? Wow. Cool. Well, plenty of time to practice I guess. –Penn Station Overheard by: Max T-M MTV chick: When I used to read, I went from the last chapter to the first. –MTV cafeteria Hipster: They’re always on the same train, so the first time you give them money, then remember your face. Every time you get on the train after that, they’ll follow you around. It’s like having your own 6-foot pet! –1 train Overheard by: spike
Black woman, looking at Nacho Libre poster: I don’t wanna see any foreign shit. Fuck that! –AMC theatre, 34th & 8th Overheard by: K Smith Woman with white dog to woman with black dog: He’s only barking because he isn’t used to seeing that kind of dog. –Central Park
Megaphone lady: Don’t buy from Canada! Don’t go to Canada! Don’t support Canada at all!…Don’t buy Canadian beer! –49th & 6th
Queer #1: So when he showed up I was surprised because he was kinda gangsta.
Queer #2: Ok, so what’s wrong with that?
Queer #1: Well, I guess I should have expected it because his profile said he was from the Bronx… but I mean you can still be from the Bronx and be Americanized. –Union Square East
Teenage girl: I really admire immigrants…even though most of them are criminals.
Overheard by: intern
Guy: So then why are guys from the Eastern Europe and black guys so good at basketball?
Dad: Natural selection.
Dad: They’ve had to fight to survive. It weeds out the physically inadequate.
Guy: Give me a break. It’s the ghetto, not some Hobbesian state of nature; they’re not cavemen living in anarchy up there. –Madison Square Garden
Asian guy: Hey, you ever play DDR?
White guy: I’m white. No, never played it.
Asian guy: Oh, I played at a friend’s yesterday. His sister was good.
White guy: Are you good?
Asian guy: I’m OK.
White guy: Redeem yourself. You’re not Asian anymore.
Asian guy: Dude, my friends are black. Black people can dance, idiot.
White guy: Yeah, and Asian people are good at DDR.
Asian guy: No, we’re just good at following arrows.
Overheard by: jason
Professor: So, when we last left the Jews they were suffering. But, then, we can take that for granted.
–Stern Building, NYU
Overheard by: Jayso
Woman to queer: … All the Jews I’ve ever seen have had the most marvelous penises.
–E 4th St & 2nd Ave
Drunk girl looking at Jewish frat boy: Wearing a kippah is like wearing a cage around your penis.
–Frat party, Columbia
Overheard by: I never go to frats bc…..
Long Island girl: Wait… What is Friday Night Lights? Is that a movie about Shabbat?!
Asian girl to her white friend: Oh my God, we have to leave before someone else thinks I work here. –store in Chinatown Overheard by: shopper Man, leading a small group of tourists: We are entering Little Korea. This is where you can find… little Koreans. –M4 bus, 32nd St.
Female Police Officer: So he calls me at 1:59 and tells me, ‘I’m out with the guys and I won’t be able to be home by 2.’ So I say to him, ‘Just don’t come home at 6 am!’ and he says okay and then he comes home at 5:59!
Male Police Officer: Why do you put up with this?
Female Police Officer: Because once you go Puerto Rican, you never go a-seekin’! –Precinct 90, Williamsburg