Archive for the ‘Multiculturalism, Overheard Style’ Category

Wednesday One-liners

Girl on cell: I shit you not, it was a small studio apartment converted into a four bedroom on the 6th floor. –47th & 9th Fat suit on cell: How many people play the drums in Poland, really?…What? Wow. Cool. Well, plenty of time to practice I guess. –Penn Station Overheard by: Max T-M MTV chick: When I used to read, I went from the last chapter to the first. –MTV cafeteria Hipster: They’re always on the same train, so the first time you give them money, then remember your face. Every time you get on the train after that, they’ll follow you around. It’s like having your own 6-foot pet! –1 train Overheard by: spike

Wednesday One-liners for Other Places

Maybe ThugLover12 Isn’t the Best Alias for You

Queer #1: So when he showed up I was surprised because he was kinda gangsta.
Queer #2: Ok, so what’s wrong with that?
Queer #1: Well, I guess I should have expected it because his profile said he was from the Bronx… but I mean you can still be from the Bronx and be Americanized. –Union Square East

Afghanistan is an Early Olympic Favorite

Guy: So then why are guys from the Eastern Europe and black guys so good at basketball?
Dad: Natural selection.
Guy: What?
Dad: They’ve had to fight to survive. It weeds out the physically inadequate.
Guy: Give me a break. It’s the ghetto, not some Hobbesian state of nature; they’re not cavemen living in anarchy up there. –Madison Square Garden

Medieval General: And After the Archers, Send in the Yellow Horde!

Asian guy: Hey, you ever play DDR?
White guy: I’m white. No, never played it.
Asian guy: Oh, I played at a friend’s yesterday. His sister was good.
White guy: Are you good?
Asian guy: I’m OK.
White guy: Redeem yourself. You’re not Asian anymore.
Asian guy: Dude, my friends are black. Black people can dance, idiot.
White guy: Yeah, and Asian people are good at DDR.
Asian guy: No, we’re just good at following arrows.

–Times Square

Overheard by: jason

Holy Moses, It’s Wednesday One-Liners!

Professor: So, when we last left the Jews they were suffering. But, then, we can take that for granted.

–Stern Building, NYU

Overheard by: Jayso

Woman to queer: … All the Jews I’ve ever seen have had the most marvelous penises.

–E 4th St & 2nd Ave

Drunk girl looking at Jewish frat boy: Wearing a kippah is like wearing a cage around your penis.

–Frat party, Columbia

Overheard by: I never go to frats bc…..

Long Island girl: Wait… What is Friday Night Lights? Is that a movie about Shabbat?!

–LIRR

Puerto Rican Pride

Female Police Officer: So he calls me at 1:59 and tells me, ‘I’m out with the guys and I won’t be able to be home by 2.’ So I say to him, ‘Just don’t come home at 6 am!’ and he says okay and then he comes home at 5:59!
Male Police Officer: Why do you put up with this?
Female Police Officer: Because once you go Puerto Rican, you never go a-seekin’! –Precinct 90, Williamsburg