Guy on cell: I’m going to kill you, and it’s going to hurt. You know that, right?…I’m not talking shit! –Duane Reade, 44th & 5th
Archive for the ‘Murder’ Category
“Well, at least no one overheard us.”
Drunk Suit #1: You do realize that we’re going to jail for this, right?
Drunk Suit #2: Yeah, I know.
Drunk Suit #1: I mean, Powers is dead!
–Dock’s Oyster Bar, 40th & 3rd
Overheard by: Greg Rutter
…Like in Alfred Hitchcock's The Squirrels
Bored tween: Hey! We should wake up early tomorrow and kill some squirrels with my slingshot!
Bored tween sister: You're not gonna kill those innocent squirrels unless they try to kill you first!
–Highland Park, New York
Got Him Right in the Fruit Cups!
UPS guy: Hey, man, last dude who chased me got killed.
Guy eating fruit cup: Mmm-hmmmmmm…
–46th & 6th
Overheard by: GoodToKnow
Gosh, I Miss Paris and Nicole.
Teenage girl #1: Well, if someone runs up to us you can just shoot him.
Teenage girl #2, astonished: You know what? I think I left my gun in my other pants!!
Teenage girl #1, laughing: Well, watch out! Even though you're my best friend, if an angry man chases us, I'm tripping you!
–34th St
Overheard in Wednesday One-Liner
20-something dude to another: It's so hard to get laid in this city before 11 pm!
–M-15 Bus
Hottie: I am in New York City. You need to make $250,000 to live like a white person.
–28th & 29th
Overheard by: A black person from Chicago
20-something male to female: So you'd better be prepared. It's like the Times Square of New York.
–16th St & Union Square
Overheard by: Annie B
Middle-aged Hispanic dude to Indian salesperson: This is New York City. Nobody's gonna kill you, okay?
–Rite-Aid
Young gay man: That's what I hate about New York City. It's such a fucking small town.
–14th St & 2nd Ave
Overheard by: molls
You Tore It Limb from Limb??
Elegantly dressed woman: I don't remember what happened last night, but I feel like I need to plant a tree or something to make up for it.
Attractive friend: What does that even mean?
Elegantly dressed woman: I don't know.
Attractive friend: I drank so much… I killed a tree?
–A Train
…Now C'mon and Do the Truffle Shuffle with Me.
Drunk girl #1: She is a cunt that needs to get fucked up!
Drunk girl #2: She needs to be killed. Oh my god, that was so mean, I'm sorry.
Drunk girl #1: Goonies never say sorry.
–Ave A
When Rabbits Threaten Blackmail.
Girl #1: I will kill all of your firstborns!
Girl #2: All of them?
–Megabus, Penn Station
Overheard by: Lisa
Sounds Like a Hipster to Us.
Guy in khakis, watching hipster: I'm totally more of a hipster than her.
Friend: No, you're not.
Guy in khakis: I am! You don't know what I'm like outside. I just turn it off for work. I've got a ton of tattoos…
Friend: No, you don't. Your mom would kill you.
Guy in khakis, hanging head: No, I don't. My mom would kill me.
–Fordham Law School