Archive for the ‘Murder’ Category

If Wednesday One-Liners Did It

Woman on cell: Are you really surprised that Marcus turned out to be a serial killer? –Times Square Overheard by: shex College dude on cell: No, the entire male species is going to die, remember? –Times Square Overheard by: glad i’m a girl. Aviator-wearing rocker wannabe: Dude, seriously, think about it. Why aren’t there more serial killers?! –Union Square West at 16th St Guy: You know, I pray for the days when I find bodies… –Lorimer St & Metropolitan Ave Columbia newspaper reporter: Dude, you can’t just kill one person and be a serial killer. You have to work up to being a serial killer. –Columbia Spectator Office Overheard by: And you know from experience? Cashier to friend: Yeah, there’s this couple that comes in every week and rents serial killer movies. –Brooklyn Video Rental Store Overheard by: tiff Conductor: Thank you for riding MTA, and remember to smile. You’ll confuse the people who want to kill you! –L train Overheard by: Paige

Wednesday One-Liners: The Forgotten Borough

Girl on cell: He's thinking of moving to Queens, and really I don't think we're going to be able to last through that. –1 New York Plaza Pretty 20-something on phone: So, I mean, I totally have a newfound appreciation for homicidal rages. Who the hell would ditch me for some ugly fag from Queens? Seriously, I should kill him. Or, just leave him in Queens…forever. Would that be a war crime? –Wall Street Overheard by: …I almost asked 30-something suit to another: I'll tell you though, it's not easy getting laid in Queens. –Court St. & Montague Overheard by: Kaiti Enthusiastic, articulate conductor: As you can see, we're at the 21st Street stop! This is the first stop in Queens, soooo welcome to Queens! The next and final stop on this train is Courthouse Square. Now that we all know, let's be on our way! –G Train Overheard by: I wish this guy narrated all of my subway trips Girl's in Queens for the first time: you can order milkshakes and cigarettes from the diner any time of night? This place is a fucking wonderland! –Queens

It’s Wednesday One-liners, Crazy

Too tan woman: It’s the first day in a week that no one has called me a psychopath….yet. –W. 66th between Broadway and Central Park West Guy: I thought when I got up I was going to lose control. Then it went away. –54th between 1st & 2nd Overheard by: Brandy Rowell Big guy: That girl’s a serial killer. She murders men and then leaves panties on their face. –47th Street & 5th Avenue Overheard by: Brian

Wednesday One-Liners Say “Toro, Toro, Taxi!”

Little girl to father, about pedestrian sign: But I don't want to be a pedestrian! I want to be famous! –17th & Irving (pedestrians are crossing when they aren't supposed to. One almost gets hit by a taxi)
Female traffic cop to taxi driver: Next time, just go ahead and run them over. –Columbus Circle Overheard by: momes Homeless man directing traffic in middle of street: I killed 20,000 people, I ain't afraid of no car! I killed 20,000 people, I ain't afraid of no car! –Jerry Orbach St Gangster walking in front of Range Rover: Fuck it, if I'ma getting hit by a car, I'ma getting hit by a nice car. –Broadway & Houston Tourist driving car: I don't give a fuck if you own the world! I'm running your ass over! –Financial District Overheard by: lex

Wednesday One-Liners Cross Species Boundaries

Man, to old woman pouring paint thinner into the sewer: You know, you’ll kill the alligators like that. –39th & Lex Methodone lover: I told him, “If you do that again, I’m gonna sic the alligators on you!” –Whitehall Ferry Terminal Overheard by: Steven Lowell Tourist, kneeling in front of a giant stone head: Help me, Olmec! Where is the shrine of the silver monkey? –Museum of Natural History Chelsea boy: Yeah…My God, the boys there were so hot! Their asses were all tight and round…Mmm…like a Chihuahua’s. –19th & 6th Overheard by: CocteauBoy 5-Year-Old boy, passing the smelly horse carriages on Central Park South: Eww, are there camels around here? –59th between Broadway & 7th Overheard by: Carmiya Weinraub Old man, passing bear sculpture: Bears eat too much. –American Wing Cafe, the Met Overheard by: guingel MTA hardhat: Yeah, for lunch I’ll have either the rat on a stick or the pigeon on a stick. –Bleecker & Lafayette Overheard by: Brewster Guy on cell: I just saw a pigeon, and it reminded me of you. –Houston & Bowery Overheard by: Jon A. Commuter: Oh, I’ve always been into manatees. –Penn Station Overheard by: Jon Woman, to child: That’s why imagination is really nice. You can imagine that cat you have always wanted, and it’s almost like having him for real…even though you never will. –53rd & Broadway Animal lover: I never used to like cats. But then I had this dream where this cat, like, told me, “I love you,” so I got a cat. –10th St & 1st Ave Bus rider: My son’s frog jumped up there, and now I can’t take a poop. –Q101 bus Overheard by: Kaleena Suit: No, no, it’s a woman with a donkey, not two donkeys! Jesus. –14th St 1 station Non-Ghetto woman on cell: That’s nigga’s crazier than a road lizard! –59th & 7th Picky girl: You won’t believe the pick up line he used. He actually said, “I want to be your beast.” –The Strand, Broadway Overheard by: Miss Parker