Teen with Bright Future: What’s that? Now that I’ve become pregnant people think that I don’t fight. Come here. I’ll kick your fucking ass, bitch. –14th Street
Archive for the ‘Murray Hill and Gramercy’ Category
It’s Enough to Drive You to Drink
Girl: I can’t, like, believe I’m in this, like, fucking crazy, weird AA subculture! –25th and 3rd Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Another One Off the Friends List
Angry Girl: And she wrote it on her Live Journal! –14th St. & 1st Overheard by: Tibbie X
Thankfully There’s Only 2 From Each State
Man #1: They’re just a bunch of high-class lowlifes.
Man #2: Yeah, and I’m one of them!
–D’Agastino’s, 26th St.
Overheard by: Megan Buckley
NY’s Homeless Speak on the Issues
A hobo stumbles into the store, yelling things and making everyone uncomfortable. Suddenly, he stumbles upon the rack with copies of the New York Times, an image of Iraq on the front page. He stares in silence for a moment, and says: You think it’s bad being homeless? Imagine being in Fallujah! –Starbucks, 59 St. & 9th Ave. Overheard by: Andrea Two hobos are drinking malt liquor from paper bags. Hobo #1 shakes his head in dismay: …I tell you, I tell you–that’s why they’ll [sic] never be peace in the Middle East. –29th St. & 2nd Ave. Overheard by: Tricia Karsay
“Then we had New Year’s in March.”
Guy: I’ve been to Germany twice because I have a friend who’s from there. I went to Oktoberfest, but it was in June.
Hans: They had Oktoberfest in June? It must have been just for you…American tourists.
–25th St. & 3rd Ave.
Remember to Invite Ivan and Che
Father: Having you and your mother in the same room is like having the Communist party. –Murray Hill
No, We Only Have Pot
Man: Do you sell cannabis?
Florist: Cannabis?
Man: Yeah, it’s a plant.
–28th Street
We Don’t Serve That Here
Customer: A hot coffee, please.
Cashier: Huh?
–Starbucks, 28th & 3rd
Hopefully He’ll Read This and Feel Guilty
Woman: My dad controls all the money in the house, to the point where if my mom wants to go shopping she has to talk to him. She’d said, ‘You really need to go to the grocery. Your daughter only had a protein shake to eat today.’ He said, ‘Well, she needs to lose weight anyway.’ It’s crazy. That’s the kind of shit we had to deal with growing up. –29th & Park