Archive for the ‘Murray Hill and Gramercy’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners: “Toga! Toga! Toga!”

60-something white woman: They put on a good show. Those Jesuits really know how to party! –Penn Station Overheard by: Jeff Gay man to others, about parties: Yeah, I thought about going to the black party, but I'm not that gay! –7th Ave & 6th St Overheard by: NottRob Young woman: I'm twenty-seven. I've never been to a party, a sexy party, where I don't remember who I've slept with. –21st St & Lexington Overheard by: Jonas Chick on cell: I can't. It's my cousin's chihuahua's birthday party. –28th St & Lexington Overheard by: sounds like a rager

Wednesday One-Liners' Next Stop Is Meth

Man shouting to woman nearby: Yo! You better hurry up. I got you a ride. I'm going straight to the bridge, and I ain't stopping for no crack! –Amsterdam Ave & 92nd St. Overheard by: Dana Girl in dress to friends: And that was the first time I sucked dick for crack… –10th St & Ave A Man to another as he walks away: Don't spend it all in one crackhouse. –SoHo Woman, yelling at man twenty feet ahead: Hey! Don't walk away from me. At least you got crack yesterday! –Broadway & 96th St

What Good Is Money If It Can’t Insulate Me from Other People?

Hobo: I have not eaten anything in three days and it’s freezing out. Could you find it in your heart to help me out?
Chick: I won’t give you money, but I will go into that deli and buy you dinner.
Hobo: Thank you so much. But I’m Jewish and if you don’t mind, I would really like a kosher sandwich from Mendy’s.
Chick: Oh, forget it — here’s five bucks! –34th & Park

Wednesday One-Liners Powder Their Noses

Female suit in bathroom stall: Well, are you gonna have those files? (pauses, makes bathroom noises) Okay, well, I need it today. Listen…okay…(pauses, more bathroom noises) Great! (pauses, toilet flushes) No, it's okay, go ahead. (pauses) Okay, no, I'm really sorry–I'm just entering the subway, that's what all that noise was. (storms out of the bathroom, doesn't wash her hands) –34th St & 9th St Flustered 50-something suit: It's burning! It's burning! –Penn Station Bathroom Man in stall: There should be a law against what's coming out of me. –25th St & Park Ave Overheard by: I agree Suit in bathroom on cell: Honey, I can't talk to you right now. (pause) I'm in the bathroom! (pause) I've got a fucking dick in my hand! (pause) What do you mean whose dick? –Restroom, Grand Central Six-year-old kid, finishing at urinal: Shake the weasel! –Men's Room, Regal Battery Park City Cinemas Overheard by: Russ Wall

Wednesday One-Liners Sock It to Me, Sock It to Me, Sock It to Me, Sock It to Me…

Ghetto black woman to four-year-old son: The ice ain't gonna respect you, you gotta respect the ice, nigga. –Grand Central Overheard by: Steven Obnoxiously loud drunk guy: I need a girl who will respect my receding hairline! –Virgil's, W 44th St Overheard by: Check, please! Thugette: I'm just going to say, "Look, I mean no disrespect, but go fuck yourself. I mean no disrespect, but just go fuck yourself." –6 Train Overheard by: i mean disrespect 20-something guy to friend: Man, you don't understand. I really respect this broad… –35th St & Lexington