Guy on cell: Don’t play games with me or I’ll break your fuckin’ nose. Have you got the money? Where’s the fuckin’ money? –47th & 5th Overheard by: Adam Bertocci Ghetto kid on cell: Yo, yo, you don’t want to play football? …Right, right, so just when you tackle them, put your hand in their pockets and take their money! –M14 bus Hobo: God, lady, I’m not asking for a million dollars; I’m just asking for some change! –14th between 5th & University Overheard by: theNJl Biker dude: She’s a shrink and a psychiatrist, so you know she’s rollin’ in money. –Starbucks, 27th & Park Overheard by: Brawny McBrawnerson
Little boy: It's a monkey!
Mom: It's bush.
–18th St & 5th Ave
Bimbette art student #1, pointing at fresh grapes: I don’t get why they call ‘olive-skinned’ people ‘olive-skinned’. No one’s skin is that color!
Bimbette art student #2, after closer inspection of fresh grapes: Yeah, but those olives look messed up, I think they’re fake. Real olives are, like, darker or something.
Bimbette art student #1: Yeah, those olives are too light, that’s it. No one’s skin is that color of… of light green.
Cashier: Uhm, are you ladies in line? Can I get you some… Grapes?
Bimbette art student #3: Yeah, those olives are totally fake, that must be it.
[Group leaves deli.]
Cashier: Did that really just happen?
–27th & 5th
Woman to another: She had one baby at her breast and another baby sitting next to her, trying to sell chicklets.
–10 Rockefeller Plaza
Overheard by: Jarrod
Young man to young woman: Sell it on the black market or give it up for adoption. That's basically your only two options.
–Grand St, Chinatown
Overheard by: Mike Posillico
Crazy woman to entire bus: My husband be given my money to all those hoes. That's why I gotta sell coffee. But at least I'm not sellin' my ass… (gets distracted by radio) Oh, this is a nice song.
Overheard by: Karly
Father of four, attempting herd jumping children on street: Okay, the next child that doesn't listen to me will be sold!
–34th & 3rd
Overheard by: Dahouhou
Midwestern lady tourist to husband: Huh, Virgin. I wonder what they sell there.
–14th St, across Doomed Megastore
Overheard by: Not buyin what they're sellin
Chick: Okay, so let me get this straight — you left a top secret threesome at 4:30 in the morning, only to take home a guy you then met on the subway platform who you kicked out of your bed two hours later because your girlfriend was coming home in half an hour?
Guy: Uh, yeah, that’s about right.
Chick: Sweet dancing Moses.
–23rd St & 6th Ave
Overheard by: still trying to figure out the logistics…
Man: …so how’ve you been?
Woman: Been good, you know I’m done with bein’ bad.
Man: Nah, why’s that?
Woman: My thighs hurt. –24th & Park Overheard by: Kathryn Galloway
Chick #1: Just like that, for no reason?
Chick #2: Yeah.
Chick #1: That’s so weird! Usually when a guy licks you, there’s some kind of context.
Chick #2: What about that time a hobo licked me? That wasn’t in context.
Chick #1: Yeah, but hobos don’t need context.
–23rd & Lex
Overheard by: Larry
Girl #1: Oh my God, look at that lady.
Girl #2: What?
Girl #1: Titty drip!
Girl #2: Oh my God. Go home and milk yourself. –19th & 5th
Dude on cell: I was up until 5AM having a really pointless discussion about apathy. –21st & 2nd
Office woman: So, what is Matt up to these days?
Delivery man: He just got a job as a fudge packer.
Office woman: Oh, that sounds exciting! Tell him I said hello!
–23rd & Park