Archive for the ‘Murray Hill and Gramercy’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Refuse to Go to the Outer Boroughs

Foreign taxi driver: If you know anything, you find job in New York. If you know nothing, you drive cab.

–Upper West Side

Cab driver to woman who just cut him off: Hey lady, learn how to drive! Go back to Park Slope!

–28th & Park Ave

Overheard by: natasha

Crazy drunken taxi driver: Do chicken wings cause pregnancy?

–West Side Highway

Overheard by: amalthya

Smelly cabbie to patrons: Oh, the smell! That is just fish water. Someone threw fish water all over my cab. That is the stink.

–48th St & Lexington

Overheard by: anon

Do You Have Wednesday One-Liner Envy?

Petite Asian woman on cell: And that's when I'll cut off his penis!

–East Village

Overheard by: Katie

Guy in the middle of group photo: Okay, now everybody take your cocks out.

–The Luxor Hotel, Columbus & 81st St

Loud matronly woman on cell, exasperated: Whose penis was on your thing?

–3rd & 16th

Overheard by: Joe & Eliz

Young lesbian on cell: She kept yelling "penis!" the whole time we were doing it… Should I call her?

–Long Island City

Overheard by: Sunny

Wednesday “It”-Liners

Guy: She *is* stupid. But in this unbelievably sexy way, so you don't even care.

–10th St & 3rd Ave

16-year-old black girl, about Shia LaBeouf: He's the sexiest white boy. I'm gonna rape his ass.

–Battery Park

Teen girl on cell: I would never have sexy mushrooms in front of my mom.

–Time Warner Center

Overheard by: Scott

20-something girl on cell: Nah, I won't play second bitch! She's just mad because I always look nice and keep my sexy up.

–Park Slope