Archive for the ‘Museum of Natural History’ Category

Wednesday Slowly Dropped Her One-Liners to the Floor

Tattooed guy on cell: I want a human pyramid. I want a naked human pyramid. –Veniero's Pastry Shop Young lady: Yes, but it's not like I go riding around the city naked on a horse… –57th St Dude on cell: Shut up! I will sit on your face… without drawers. –14th & 6th Young thug to friend: She said she went up in there, and everybody in the crib was naked, everybody. Buck-ass naked. –Nostrand Ave, Bed-Stuy Overheard by: rick Three-year-old boy, looking at unclothed figures at African people exhibit: Daddy? Did they take off their diapers? –American Museum of Natural History Overheard by: Freaked the kid out after laughing at his commment

Wednesday How-Many-Liners?

Tourist, looking at buildings across from Central Park: So which one is the Statue of Liberty? –Columbus Circle Girl: Are pork chops made of lamb? –23rd & Park Ave Overheard by: Nora Claire Girl to bouncer at bar: Does this place have really awesome bathrooms? –East Village Overheard by: bb Tourist: Is Chinatown closed? –Canal St Overheard by: Kristen Hippie at exhibit for world's most extreme animals: Are they alive? –Museum of Natural History Overheard by: gregumsdagreggy Lady on cell: Times Square's where that ball is, right? –42nd St & 6th St Overheard by: tourists rock Guy: What is this? So I sign up and get a free beer? –Designated Driver Booth, Citi Field Overheard by: AJ

No Wednesday One-Liner in the Champagne Room

Loud woman on cell: And then he had the nerve to ask me if it was cause he's black! I was like, "it's not cause you're black, it's cause you slept with that stripper!" –Starbucks Midwestern grandmother, seeing granddaughter play on subway: She's working on her pole dancing, just like her mother. –E Train Young Asian guy, telling stripper what he does for a living: Do you even know what a hedge fund is? –Strip Club, Queens Thug to girlfriend, pointing at totem pole in museum: You know what those be? Fancy stripper poles! (makes techno music noise with his mouth) –Museum of Natural History Blonde chick on cell: Oh my god, Mike, just fuck her and get over yourself, I really don't care! (hangs up, to friend) I don't understand why my boyfriend keeps calling me asking me if it would break my heart if he slept with the stripper we met at the bar on Saturday. –NYU Overheard by: i wish i had me a girl like that Serious, tired, cute guy on cell: So you remember the stripper that has been hassling me? Well, I went out with her and her girlfriend on Tuesday, and stuff got out of hand… really out of hand–like Budapest out of hand! (pause) I don't know, but I woke up in fucking New York City! –Penn Station

Wednesday One-Liners Will Be Married to Supermodels One Day

Nerdy tourist boy looking at display: My depth perception is yelling at me… –Museum of Natural History Overheard by: jules Pizza guy on cell: Have a good 4th… What? No, I said to have a good 4th, not "may the force be with you." (pause) Have a good 4th. (pause) Yeah, have a good 4th, and may the force be with you. Uh- huh. Good night. –Dekalb & Hall St, Brooklyn Indian nerd to friends, in the midst of heated debate: Dude, vitamins are fucking weak! –Grand Central Subway Platform Overheard by: djprojexion Geek on cell, in line at Comic Con: Dude, I'm at the con… It's like, ten times more awesome…than anything awesome! –NYC Comic Con Overheard by: RedmanInc Nerdy guy: Some super powers come with implied powers. Like the power of flight. You assume the power of wind resistance, because you'd get pretty freaking cold flying 200 mph. But no one ever thinks of that. –Fordham Law School