Archive for the ‘Museums’ Category

I Like It Better When They Talk About Starbucks

Guy on cell: OK, well, be safe. If you get raped make sure he wears a condom. –Williamsburg Overheard by: Daniel Girl: Don’t let me talk to boys after I take blue pills. –31st & 2nd Girl #1: Sometimes he like to rape my ass.
Girl #2: Ew! Hee hee. –outside The Brooklyn Museum Overheard by: Josh Neufeld Girl #1: Well, she was raped.
Girl #2: I wasn’t really raped. –Vertigo, 26th & 3rd Yuppie chick #1: Sweetie, you’re going to get raped dressed like that.
Yuppie chick #2: No. I have an umbrella. –Delancey & Allen Overheard by: Mitchell Linetti

Might Be Better to Be Fat, Ugly, and Deluded

Asian girl: I was going down the stairs just now, and this girl was getting seriously upset over how horrible she looks today. Then the boy she was with went all, ‘Oh my god, stop it!’ and asked me, ‘Doesn’t she look good today?’
White girl: And then?
Asian girl: I told him she looks lovely, and came here.
White girl: Oh.
Asian girl: But goddammit, I wanted to slap her upside the face! I mean, don’t go around crying over how ugly you look when you’re obviously skinny and gorgeous — that just makes you a bitch!
White girl: Mmm-hm. Seriously.

–Bronx Science

It’s Not You, It’s Wednesday One-Liners

Guy to friends: They broke up… He was only in the relationship for the free Nike gear anyway.

–Stone St.

Overheard by: Jen

Hipster dude: So Jane* is coming to the studio tonight to do some recording. Should I have her do it and then break up with her, or break up with her first and then have her do it?

–F Train

Overheard by: dianora

13-year-old girl on cell: What? You broke up with him? That’s so cruel! Um, can I date him?

–Thompson Street, The Village

Excited teen girl: This would be a great place to break up with some people!

–8th St Park

Girl on cell: They broke up? I always thought that them breaking up was like a joke, like saying you don’t like Brussels sprouts when you secretly do, but you just say it because it’s the first yucky vegetable that comes to your mind. But hey, that’s great!

–Outside the Frick Museum

Overheard by: A. Pincus

Guy, yelling from third story fire escape: Sarah! Sarah Whitlock! Don’t leave me! She meant nothing to me! Come back… Please! (pause) Okay, but I’m keeping the deposit!

–E 4th Street

Overheard by: Nima Shirazi

Wednesday One Liners Lie about Their Size

Loud guy: I can turn my dick into a Whopper with fries!

–MacDougal Ale House

Overheard by: Ladle

Small Indian boy: Penis! Penis! [His mother scolds him in Hindi.] … Penis!

–47th & 5th

10-year-old boy to friends: … And then he drew, like, three penises! And then I had to get home in, like, three and a half seconds!

–11th & 3rd

Overheard by: Hannah

Suit to another: Jesus Christ! It’s not my fault your penis drips!

–Times Square

Overheard by: Sydney

Dude to friend: Let’s think of words that rhyme with ‘dick.’

–49th & 7th

Pre-med chick: We had this cadaver in lab that we called ‘Schlongo’ because his penis was a foot long. No, seriously, it was really a foot long!

–Bodies Exhibit

Overheard by: a.j.w.

Aren’t There Some Giant Human-Hair Tapestries, or Something?

Four-year-old girl looking at photos depicting rape victims: Daddy, what are they doing in these pictures?
Father: Um, the women got really tired and decided to take a nap.
Seven-year-old boy: Why is there blood between their legs?
Mother, hurrying everyone to next piece: Look, breasts!

–Global Feminisms exhibit, Brooklyn Museum

Overheard by: office peon loved the exhibit