Businessman: There was a flatbed truck on 5th Ave. There were all these musicians in it with their guitars, and everyone was chanting Bone-o!.
Woman: That’s U2.
Businessman: Oh, OK. I wanted to say, “Which one’s Bone-o?”
Woman: Which one’s Bozo, you should have said.
Businessman: The little guy; is he Spanish?
Woman: No.
Businessman: He said, “Buenos dias.” I wanted to know if that was him.
–Burger Heaven, 49th St.
Archive for the ‘Music’ Category
Tragically, the LP Died
Customer: Do you have a recording of Astrud Gilberto singing, “The Girl from Emphysema?” –Times Square
The Band Assumed As Much
Chubby Chick: Dude, I missed your set because I was hungry! –Opaline, Ave. A
I Was Channeling Lynda Lopez, Myself
The music stops. Hoochie: What happened? I was totally channeling J. Lo! Ah, whatever. I do what I want. –Delancey Lounge, LES
Super-size Me, Mr. Bond
Daughter: You’re always humming that McDonalds song.
Mother: Huh?
Daughter: You know…”da da da da da I’m loooovin’ it.”
Mother: No, honey. Goldfinger. *Ba ra ba rum*
Daughter: Oh.
–Central Park
I was born yesterday
Recent college graduate #1: Have you ever seen an actual 8-track?
Recent college graduate #2: Yes, I’ve seen one–but I’ve never seen a movie on one.
– Private apartment, Boerum Hill, Brooklyn
Punchlines without Straightlines
Very Straight Guy: Hey, it’s not like I’m giving Ellen DeGeneres a claddagh ring! –Jeremy’s Ale House Overheard by: Megan Buckley
Blondie is a Group
The bartender is wearing a Blondie shirt.
Guy: Do you even know who Blondie is? Do you know who JFK is?
Bartender: Were you even alive when JFK was alive?
Guy: I’ll bet you were born in 1982.
Bartender: Did anyone ever tell you how charming you are?
Guy: No!
–The Library, Avenue A
The dirtiest song ever
Female Hipster, singing: Boom boom boom, let’s go back to my room…
Male Hipster: I remember when that song came out–that was the dirtiest song imaginable!
– Lolita
I have that record
Hipster: Hey, that’s my favorite song! It’s by Philip Glass! – Alt.coffee, after employee stopped a CD playing in the background that had skipped and repeated the same sound for a few minutes.