Customer: Do you have a recording of Astrud Gilberto singing, “The Girl from Emphysema?” –Times Square
Where: Diner in Williamsburg Yuppie on Cell Phone: You should come down! He’s giving a concert tonight at Luxx.
Chubby Chick: Dude, I missed your set because I was hungry! –Opaline, Ave. A
The music stops. Hoochie: What happened? I was totally channeling J. Lo! Ah, whatever. I do what I want. –Delancey Lounge, LES
Indie kid: I’m a big Steve Albini fan. He’s to garage rock what Phil Spector is to Motown. –Party, Park Slope
Pragmatist: I figure if I don’t get a job in publishing, I’ll become a video vixen.
–Dunkin’ Donuts, Ditmars Blvd, Astoria
Overheard by: Christine
Skank: No way! I am not one of those girls. I am not a video girl…I am a dancer!
–34th & 8th
Overheard by: Skye
Ditz: Supposably [sic], she’s going to be dancing in some Beyonce video. She’s so stupid.
–54th St between 9th & 10th
Media scholar: Well it’s different when the girl getting fucked in the video is the same age as you. I mean, that’s great when you’re 15.
–20th & 8th
Husky male employee, singing along to radio in high pitch voice: “I'm looking at the man in the mirror…”
Female employee passing by: Sing it!
Husky male employee: I'm trying!
–K-Mart, Penn Station
Overheard by: erkala
Stoned middle-aged ghetto thug #1: “If I were a boy…” Who sings that?
Stoned middle-aged ghetto thug #2: Think it's Beyonce.
Stoned middle-aged ghetto thug #1: That has a negative connotation, it should be: “if I were a girl…”
–Uptown 6 Train
Teenage boy: So I went to a Cher concert…
Teenage girl: What?
Teenage boy: Cher.
Teenage girl: Cher?
Teenage boy: Cher. The singer.
Teenage girl: Who?
Teenage boy: You don't know Cher? Damn, girl, you have no history. You have no childhood. (pause) So I went to a Cher concert. And she came out and looked all hot. “How many of you ladies have been hurt by a man?” (imitates the roar of the crowd) “Aaaaaaahhhh!” She cock-blocked the whole place.
Woman: Did you see Lady Gaga when she wore that meat costume?
Man: That's one crazy bitch. I'd tenderloin the shit out of her.
–Outside Toys-R-Us, Time Square
Overheard by: Damien