Archive for the ‘Musicians’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Make Beautiful Music Together

20-something girl: I feel sorta guilty for illegally downloading "We Are the World." What's that Haiti number? I should text them some money to clear my conscience. –LIRR Middle aged guy to female colleague: It's really good and all, but it's only after listening to the lyrics that I got a little worried. I mean all she kept saying was "I want your disease, I want your disease." What is that? –6 Train Overheard by: Kishan FedEx guy: I'm looking for Phil Harmonic. He needs to sign for this. –Avery Fisher Hall, Lincoln Center Plaza Overheard by: Rob Loud Angelina Jolie wannabe watching band: I love this band, their music is like making love… Am I right? –Terminal 5 Overheard by: Dani Cakes Guy with guitar to naive teens: Yeah, music is the only way we can fight our oppressive, totalitarian government. –City College Overheard by: Stephen

Wednesday One-Liners Still Miss the Crocodile Hunter

Girl on iPhone: It's not like he's gone and, y'know, rescuing cheetahs… –Astoria Lone hobo: Thanks, god… for goats, people and buses. –Manhattan Bridge Woman on phone: Hi, honey. Did you find the frogs with the red eyes? (pause) Oh, do you think your mom will like the quail? (pause) It's 30% off, right? –Lincoln Center Subway drummer: This next one is called "moose call." it goes, "yo, moose!" (pause) Hey, I didn't write it, I just made it popular. –Shuttle to Times Square Overheard by: Media addict French man: It's like doing a horse. Kick him in the ass and he will kick you right back. –Long Island City Overheard by: Sunny

Wednesday Does One-Liners Like It's His Job

Woman on cell: Ugh, no I can't. I've been at work, I'm totally wasted. –Outside Penn Station Whiny American Apparel employee to new recruit: You're not allowed to chew gum on the floor, you can't wear UGGs to work… You have to be 100% American Apparel. –Downtown F Train Overheard by: Kaitlen Subway musician to dude walking by with guitar on his back: Get a real job! (pause) I always wanted to say that to someone. –S Train Female suit to make suit: So, is your work still sticky like mine? –Port Authority Overheard by: quiet commuter

In New York, Even a Compliment Can Get You Beaten Up

Doo-wop busker: Hey man, anyone ever tell you that you look just like Wynton Marsalis?
Black guy who does actually look like Wynton Marsalis: Who?
White woman: Oh! Yeah, he does!
Doo-wop busker: Yeah, am I right? Wynton Marsalis, in the flesh.
Black guy: I don't even know who that is.
Doo-wop busker: Jazz trumpet, man. Genius.
White woman: He's a wonderful musician. You should look him up!
Black guy: Uh, sure. What was the name again?
Doo-wop busker: Wyn-ton. Mar-sa-lis. They ever make a movie of his life, you got it made. –R Train Overheard by: Rose Fox

Wednesday Undie-Liners

Guy: Oh, man! It is not a good day to be my underwear! –Wine Store, 75th & Amsterdam Overheard by: Raven 10-year-old to little brother: Hey! C'mere! You wanna play Captain Underpants? –Brooklyn Overheard by: dogboy Guy on cell: I'm not paying her to smell your underwear! –57th St & Broadway Overheard by: Lagsalot Loud older gentleman watching people at subway entrance: They don't wear brassieres anymore! –23rd St & 6th Ave Overheard by: Zombie Boyfriend Older lady in funeral procession behind bag piper wearing kilt: I looked. He's wearing underpants. –120th & Broadway

Wednesday One-Liners Have Nothing to Lose But Their Chains

Bearded male hipster on cell: My clit is so stimulated right now! (pause) The communists are attacking! (pause) This is awkward. –Grassroots Bar Overheard by: Sarah Booz Guy playing guitar: Look on the bright side, at least we don't have to wait in line for toilet paper anymore. Fucking communists. –L Train Overheard by: Milt Man, seeing another man carrying large box of cereal from warehouse store: That's the biggest box of Cheerios I've seen since we lived on the commune! –6 Train Overheard by: Janine Young, normally-dressed guy, to no one in particular: Your President is a commie scumbag, and he owes me money. –23rd St b/w 5th & 6th

Yo Soy Wednesday-One-Liner!

Hobo with guitar, singing: My girl! That white girl is my girl! She may look like Brooke Shields but she's my girl! My girl! Oooh-ooh… Come on, everybody, sing with me, Puerto Ricans, too! –1 Train Overheard by: Tater Drunk Puerto Rican father to man on train, yelling: The capital of Puerto Rico is the Bronx, bitch! –6 Train Overheard by: Alice Dalice Guy, about some girls: I tried to tell them I was Puerto Rican, but they kept saying I was from Spain and called me a douchebag. –East Village Overheard by: NYCGlamDiva Diner waitress: Just because he's Puerto Rican don't mean he's a cheetah. –Park Slope Overheard by: monkey girl Asian girl to Hispanic guy: Come on! She's, like, the Puerto Rico of Asia! –Jamba Juice, Mercer & Houston