Archive for the ‘Myspace’ Category

Wednesday One-Liners Send Mixed Signals

Man: But they’ll talk to us! That’s the problem with calling people — they talk to you!

–Union Square Park

Chick: For one thing, this guy sounds totally sick and perverted; and, for another, what’s his number?

–Party, 140th & Broadway

Overheard by: Mr. P.

Girl on cell: He was like, ‘Thanks for doing that in a text,’ and I was like, ‘Thanks for saying that in an IM.’

–Park Ave & Union Square North

Collegiate on cell: Dude, why the hell are you calling me? I told you, just use MySpace.

–Park Ave South & 19th St

Queer looking at ringing cell: Shit! [Answers phone in pleasant voice] Hi, Andrew!

–11th St & University

Overheard by: Colleen

…That I Have to Go Get a Mean Bone in My Body

Girl #1: So he sent me a message on MySpace that said: “Hey, a few friends and I have a place at the beach, you should bring some of your friends down so we can get you drunk and take advantage of you.” But he said it in such a nice way, you know…
Girls #2: Yeah, I don't think there's like a mean bone in his body, so he can say stuff like that, and it's totally funny.
Girl #3: I wish my boyfriend was that cool, he gets mad at me because every time we have a fight I go out and get drunk with my friends. He thinks I'm going to get completely wasted and sleep with some random guy or something. It's so annoying.

–Penn Station

Overheard by: Duran

Wednesday One-Liners Are Just Browsing

Flamboyant foreigner: I changed my MySpace to say I like girls.

–Washington Square Park

Suit on cell: I'm gonna twitter my fucking ass off tonight.

–City Hall

Overheard by: Samantha Sharifi

Girl on cell: Do they not have people in the US that follow the Blue Book? They have to get some guy from Oxford butt fuck to do it? It's so annoying. It's so annoying! Like, I want to take a strap on and fuck my computer. Well, not my computer, but the guy's computer, for having done this to me.

–11th St & 5th Ave

Middle aged African American woman to group of friends: I'm going on MySpace to comment that she abandoned her child!

–8th Ave & 42nd St

Businesswoman to friend: I just like having a family, you know? And you can't get that on Craigslist.

–33rd St.

Overheard by: Rio

High school girl with iPod: Do you think this church has Wi-Fi?

–St. Paul's Catholic Church

Wednesday One-Liners Click “It's Complicated”

Man on cell: Listen, you are just not going to meet a young woman who doesn't have a MySpace page, isn't religious, and doesn't want children.

–46th St & 5th St

30-something to friend: Why is it people from the Midwest always ask if you've tried speed dating? It is like the first thing they think of when they hear about a single woman in New York–she must not have tried speed dating yet.

–1st St & 2nd Ave

Girl on cell: I mean, he basically acts like we're living together. But I don't know, like, I almost called him last night and asked, "are we even dating?"

–65th St & 1st Ave

Hispanic lady: I don't need no man, I don't need no man. I got everything I need in my purse.

–Cafe, West Village

Wednesday One-Liners for Celebretards

Young black guy to another: You know, Obama is to politics what Richard Simmons is to exercise.

–PATH Train

Guy standing outside bar: And she was like, "What, like Gary Coleman?" and I'm like, "No, not like fucking Gary Coleman!"

–4th & 10th

Girl to boyfriend: Well, Tom Green only had one testicle. It's totally fine.

–E 11th St

Overheard by: j

Suit on cell: And I was like, "Fuck you, Ryan Cabrera"!

–Bedford & 6th St

Black girl on cell: I told you, we're like the Paris Hiltons of Liberia.

–Borders, Wall St

Overheard by: step

Guy (after taking picture with Jeremy Piven): Damn! I can't put this on MySpace. I'm wearing the same shirt I wore when I met Chazz Palminteri!

–Outside Barrymore Theatre

Overheard by: Pasta…Salad