Teen girl: So I deleted my Facebook.
Teen guy: See! There's another one!
Teen girl: Another what?
Teen guy: Another difference, my last girlfriend deleted her MySpace and kept her Facebook. That's, like, so weird.
Teen girl: But we both had both.
Teen guy: Don't argue.
–2 Train
Archive for the ‘Myspace’ Category
Betrayal Is My Anti-Drug
(Outside American Apparel)
Dude sitting on bench: How you gonna have me as one of your top 8 friends on MySpace and not hook me up with drugs?
Dude leaving store: Fuck you, nigga.
–Orchard & Houston
Overheard by: pink panties
Wednesday One-Liners Haven’t Met Most Of Their Friends
Yuppie: I don’t google enough.
–F Train, 7th Ave
Overheard by: imaginexrach
Girl on cell: Not being on Facebook is ruining my life!
–NYU Bus
Overheard by: Asian Kid
Assistant on phone, about her 17-year-old daughter’s MySpace page: I find it interesting that she and her friend Shannon have the same friend listed. Some 32-year-old guy in California named Tom!
–Office on 42nd & Madison
Overheard by: herspace
Man: I’m going to go home and e-mail some shameless bitches.
–8th St & Broadway
Grad student at computer, dolefully: Without right-click I just don’t know what to do with the world.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Ladle
I May Lie in Court But Never on My Profile
Thug #1: Aw, damn! Look who just got out of jail!
Thug #2: Wassup? Wassup?
Thug #1: How you feel?
Thug #2: Free as a bird, just like it says on my MySpace.
–Starbucks, Park Slope
Wednesday One-Liners Click “It’s Complicated”
Chick: It’s about your cyber personality, and if your cyber personality doesn’t want to be in a relationship with me on Facebook, that’s okay!
–NYU Hayden Staircase
Coed: I don’t know… if Sheryl* with the two kids by the two different baby-daddies can have a good MySpace, I think pretty much anyone should be able to do it.
–Hunter College
Overheard by: ImmaculatePizza
Hipster girl: It looks like MySpace exploded in there!
–The Knitting Factory, 74 Leonard St
Overheard by: Cassie
20-something girl: So, the quadriplegic I hooked up with added me as a friend on Facebook last night.
–Chipotle, 51st & 8th
Geek prophet: No one is ever away from Google, really.
–Near Holland Tunnel
Overheard by: Claire H.
Angry chick, to boyfriend: Look, I’m not changing my Facebook status!
–6th & Ave A
Overheard by: Kremilyse
30-ish woman: I said I wouldn’t date him ’til he gets rid of the typos on his MySpace profile… Am I a snob?
–Tom’s Diner, Morningside Heights
Overheard by: ball-and-veining tool
Heave-Ho, Wednesday One-Liners!
Girl to friend passed out on stoop: Michelle! Michelle! I’ma take your picture for your MySpace page! Throw up again!
–University & E 9th St
Overheard by: Thompson
Chick: It’s not like I miss my parents or anything, but it’s just that the toilets here are so gross to throw up in.
–Columbia University
Overheard by: Mark Jochens
Vomiting thugette: I don’t even know what that is… Oh, God, that’s pizza!
–Brooklyn
Overheard by: traPt
Cute chick: I was way too drunk to do anything but have sex, throw up a pizza burger, and take a shower… in that order.
–The Black Sheep, 3rd Ave
Overheard by: Argopelter
Student to another: I dunno… All I heard is that he threw up all over his daughter’s teacher!
–Mercer University
Overheard by: J Dawg
Conductor: Hey, here’s a novel idea — if you have to vomit, vomit on yourself! Not on the ground, on yourself!
–LIRR
Overheard by: Dave
And I Added Some Mad Hillary Duff Tunes As My Background Music, Bro
Thug #1: Yo, what’s really good?
Thug #2: Yo, man, I added you to my ‘Top Eight’ today.
Thug #1: No doubt!
–F train
Overheard by: cindy
It Was New to Us, Too
Rupert Murdoch, at conference: If you wanted to stalk a young girl, it’d be much easier to do on Facebook than MySpace.
Conference attendee: Douche chill…
–Grand Hyatt Hotel
That’s Okay — She Didn’t Mean It
Girl: I’m so glad you’re moving in with us.
Queer: Me, too. I was talking to my roommate the other day — the one I hate — and she was like, ‘I feel like once you move out I’ll never see you and we won’t hang out anymore.’ And I was just thinking, ‘Bitch, when I move out, you’re coming off my MySpace! You was just a pity add!’
–Central Park
And Download That Really Cute Topless Photo of Me for the Wake
Teen boy: Do you ever wonder, like, if you die, what will happen to your MySpace and your Internet stuff?
Teen girl: Yeah. You have my password, right? Promise me you’ll go on and approve the good comments?
–N train, Brooklyn