Archive for the ‘Myspace’ Category

Heave-Ho, Wednesday One-Liners!

Girl to friend passed out on stoop: Michelle! Michelle! I’ma take your picture for your MySpace page! Throw up again! –University & E 9th St Overheard by: Thompson Chick: It’s not like I miss my parents or anything, but it’s just that the toilets here are so gross to throw up in. –Columbia University Overheard by: Mark Jochens Vomiting thugette: I don’t even know what that is… Oh, God, that’s pizza! –Brooklyn Overheard by: traPt Cute chick: I was way too drunk to do anything but have sex, throw up a pizza burger, and take a shower… in that order. –The Black Sheep, 3rd Ave Overheard by: Argopelter Student to another: I dunno… All I heard is that he threw up all over his daughter’s teacher! –Mercer University Overheard by: J Dawg Conductor: Hey, here’s a novel idea — if you have to vomit, vomit on yourself! Not on the ground, on yourself! –LIRR Overheard by: Dave

It Was New to Us, Too

Rupert Murdoch, at conference: If you wanted to stalk a young girl, it’d be much easier to do on Facebook than MySpace.
Conference attendee: Douche chill… –Grand Hyatt Hotel

That’s Okay — She Didn’t Mean It

Girl: I’m so glad you’re moving in with us.
Queer: Me, too. I was talking to my roommate the other day — the one I hate — and she was like, ‘I feel like once you move out I’ll never see you and we won’t hang out anymore.’ And I was just thinking, ‘Bitch, when I move out, you’re coming off my MySpace! You was just a pity add!’ –Central Park

Um, I’m from Thailand

White tween: Everyone has a MySpace.
Asian tween: I don’t have a MySpace.
White tween: You don’t got a MySpace? Why not?
Asian tween: ‘Cause it’s the easiest way to meet sexual predators.
White tween, laughing: Nah, don’t worry. You ain’t ever gonna meet any sexual predators — you’re ugly. –PS 173 playground, Fresh Meadows

This nigga on Overheard

Thug #1: We don’t even go to the movies or nothin’. She just comes over to smash it and then she leaves. She knows, too. She just comes over for some pipin’.
Thug #2: That’s where it’s at.
Thug #1: She got a 10-year-old li’l nigga, too. She knows not to ask for somethin’ serious. That li’l nigga in fifth grade! That nigga on MySpace! –Houston & Suffolk Overheard by: Rhymes With Lasagna Headline by: ja Runners-Up:
· “…And “To Catch A Predator”” – Stuck in the MidWest
· “He Comes Over for Some Pipin’ Too.” – Courtney
· “I Just Have to Wait for Her to Be in Eigth.” – Snark Sloper
· “That Li’l Nigga Gots Roast Beef and This Li’l Nigga Gots None.” – johnnyb
· “The Nucular Family” – Bill
· “The Waltons, 2007” – G’night, John Boy
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