Overheard In New York

Archive for the ‘Names’ Category

Rick James is Spinning in His Grave

Guy: I said, “I hate to break it to you, but I’m straight.” And she said, “If you like girls, don’t introduce yourself as Jeremy. It’s a nice name.” And I said, “I’m not interested in girls like that. I like the superfreaks.” –Belly, LES

Paging Boris Badinoff

Russian girl #1: Stop calling me that!
Russian girl #2: What’s wrong?
Russian girl #1: She keeps on calling me Natasha!
Russian girl #2: What’s wrong with that?
Russian girl #1: Because that’s not my name! –B82 Bus

…Um, I've Heard That Works Really Well.

Teenager #1: Aw, that guy was so cute! He'd better be there when I go return my skates.
Teenager #2: You should find out his number or something.
Teenager #1: Nah, that's too awkward.
Teenager #2: Just ask his name from one of the other workers, and say you wanna report him to the manager… But then really just stalk him on Facebook!

–Ice Skating Rink, Bryant Park

Overheard by: lol

Where Do You Stand on Honky Tonk Bars?

Female lawyer #1: So we stopped and ate at Cracker Barrel.
Female lawyer #2: Oh, my husband loves Cracker Barrel!
Male lawyer #1: How come it's okay to have a restaurant named Cracker Barrel, but when there was a restaurant chain called Sambo's, they were forced to change their name?
Male lawyer #2: And what about the Washington Redskins?
Male lawyer #1: Yeah, imagine if they had a team named The Darkies?
Male lawyer #2: So how come nobody forces the Redskins to change their name?
Male lawyer #1: Cause, when's the last time you saw a mob of Indians kick someone's ass?
Male lawyer #2: Custer?
Male lawyer #1: I rest my case.
Female lawyer #2: And just what does any of this have to do with Cracker Barrel?
Male lawyer #1: You ever take a look at who eats there?

–Civil Court, Sutphin Boulevard, Jamaica

Overheard by: Big Larry

Albus Was the Original Gangsta!

Teenage thug #1, to friends: Yo, you know who Dumbledore is?
Teenage thug #2: Ummm, yes!
Teenage thug #1: So what's his full name?
Teenage thug #3: Okay! Here it comes!
Teenage thug #4: Yeah, this is the shit right here!
All thugs, in unison: Albus… Percival… Wulfric… Brian… Dumbledore!
Teenage thug #1: That's what I'm talking about! Yeah!

–Sunset Park, Brooklyn

Overheard by: even i didn't remember

Young Mr. Duran Is Just Hungry Like the Wolf

Pretty teen girl #1: Did you know there's a guy in our school who looks exactly like Taylor Lautner?
Pretty teen girl #2: Seriously?
Pretty teen girl #1: Yeah. His name is Alison.
Pretty teen girl #2: Ew. That's such an ugly name!
Pretty teen girl #1: I know. He like, stares… If you turn around and look at him, he's looking at you. All the girls think he's staring at them. You know how all the girls in that group are pretty?
Pretty teen girl #2: I know! It's crazy!

–Starbucks, Chelsea

Overheard by: Katherine Wallace

Macbeth: Is This Emily I See Before Me, Her Handle Toward My Hand?

Drunk man: What's your name?
Sober woman: Emily.
Drunk man: Can we talk, Emily?
Sober woman: Sorry, I have to go call my boyfriend.
Drunk man, clutching heart: Dagger! Your name should be “dagger.”

–Coming Out of UWS Bar

Overheard by: That's cold