Girl #1: Yeah, he knows Dick Clark.
Girl #2: You mean the ex President?
Girl #1: Lol! No!
–Office, Madison Ave & 49th St
Archive for the ‘Names’ Category
The Prince Of Darknesss Looked Exactly Like Donald Trump
Customer: So, what casino did you go to?
Clerk: The Taj Mahell.
–Smoke Shop, East Village
Overheard by: Evan
Remember the Good Old Days When You Could Smuggle Antiquities with Impunity?
Asian man: What seems to be the problem?
Security official: Other than the fact that your passport and your ticket have two completely different names on them, nothing.
–JFK Security
…Enjoy Your Savior!
Hasidic girl, after borrowing non-hasidic girl's phone: Thank you so much! What's your name?
Non-hasidic girl: Ann.
Hasidic girl: Ann… You're Jewish, no?
Non-hasidic girl: No.
Hasidic girl: Really?
Non-hasidic girl, slightly annoyed: Really.
Hasidic girl: Oh. Well, it was nice meeting you anyway.
–Kingston & Empire
Overheard by: Jess
Wednesday One-Liners Make Beautiful Music Together
20-something girl: I feel sorta guilty for illegally downloading "We Are the World." What's that Haiti number? I should text them some money to clear my conscience.
–LIRR
Middle aged guy to female colleague: It's really good and all, but it's only after listening to the lyrics that I got a little worried. I mean all she kept saying was "I want your disease, I want your disease." What is that?
–6 Train
Overheard by: Kishan
FedEx guy: I'm looking for Phil Harmonic. He needs to sign for this.
–Avery Fisher Hall, Lincoln Center Plaza
Overheard by: Rob
Loud Angelina Jolie wannabe watching band: I love this band, their music is like making love… Am I right?
–Terminal 5
Overheard by: Dani Cakes
Guy with guitar to naive teens: Yeah, music is the only way we can fight our oppressive, totalitarian government.
–City College
Overheard by: Stephen
What's Vin Diesel's Excuse?
Dad: It stars Vin Diesel.
Teen daughter: More like Win Diesel!
Dad: Winn Dixie?
Teen daughter: Because of Vin Dixie?
Dad: Because of Vin Diesel.
Teen daughter: I think you broke my brain, dad.
–Grand Central
Kids! How Many Things Can You Find Wrong with This Quote?
Girl to friend: I think her name's Elizabeth.
Friend: My friend's name is Elizabeth! She's a twin.
Girl: Is she? What's that word for “identical”?
Friend: Yeah… “fraternal.”
Girl: Yeah, everyone is named Elizabeth.
–47th St & 3rd Ave
Actually, There's One Near Me Called “Yummy Taco.” True Story.
Guy: There are actually a lot of Chinese-run Mexican restaurants popping up now.
Girl: What do they call them? “Double happiness taco”?
–Grand & Driggs
Overheard by: Claire
Give Me Credit for Waiting to Make a Move
Hobo: Hey, c'mon now, we know each other what, ten years? Ten years, we be saying “hi” to each other. No need to act like that.
Professional-looking lady: You put your hand on my ass!
Hobo: Oh, that didn't mean nothing. C'mon, we be friends. Ever day we say “hi” and smile and talk while we walk and now you gettin' all riled on me.
Professional lady: You put your grimy, damn hand on my ass.
Hobo: Oh, that was just a friendly little touch. C'mon, now, we friends. We know each other too long to let somethin' like this cause problems. Ten years. What's your name again?
–53rd St & 8th Ave
Vitamin Water Is Bullshit; You Heard It Here First
20-something woman #1: What kind of a name is “Osmosis Jones,” anyway?
20-something woman #2: Osmosis is a real thing actually. It's an ingredient in vitamin water.
–Kingsbridge & Jerome, The Bronx
Overheard by: not a scientist…